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Howard Wise
Howard Wise, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.
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So, Im newly single. While I havent sworn off men Im a bit

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So, Im newly single. While I havent sworn off men Im a bit hesitant about not jumping into something straight away. With that said, Ive been speaking to one guy I know, AD, and we've been flirting bit and talking about music and other interests but he hasnt asked me out yet. This is frustrating because Ive been asked out by two other guys already. Though, I can identify that I act more nervous around AD , and am more myself around the other guys which may be why theyve asked me out... Since I dont seem like a nervous b of nerves to them... Anyhow, I really like AD but am not sure how to procced. Should I be a bit more forward? Should I try care less? Is there anything I can do better? I just figure if he hasnt asked me out, he might not feel like he'sd like to see more of me/get to know each other better, which is the driving force of a new relationship. Im aware that he's just come out of a longterm relationship too thoug Im concerned he may be a bit of a player now he's single. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 2 years ago.
Hello, this is Howard,

Based on what you have reported, that AD has just come out of a long-term relationship, I recommend that you allow him more time to get to know you. He might not be ready to date anyone right now. Continue to be his friend, and lend him a friendly ear if he needs to talk, and I think you'll find that his attraction to you will strengthen.

Since you are newly single, I think it's a good idea for you to take some time to enjoy your new found freedom. It's best not to jump into a new relationship straightaway. You never know who might show up when you least expect him. Mr. Right may be right around the corner - looking for you!

Wink
Howard Wise, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 650
Experience: Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.
Howard Wise and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thanks for your advice Howard (and apologies for the typos, I wrote my initial question on my phone). I know I shouldnt rush into anything and Im trying not to. I find it difficult with AD though because we don't speak in person, only online, and when we do see each other it's at functions so we dont get a chance to talk. So, I feel like something is there but it's not progressing and Im not sure exactly what it is either. I know I have difficulty with anxiety about uncertainty and really that's all this situation is. But AD has been very thoughtful and given me a CD he thought I'd like and we talk a lot about music (we're both very much into music and its a quality I find very attractive in a man) and he messages me to see how I am doing but very inconsistently. I can reply to his message and it will take him a day or two to get back to me - so I dont exactly feel like he's that keen. But what should I do? It's hard to just keep doing my own thing when I'm unsure what's going on. And I'm going on another date tomorrow with a friend, but I'm not sure what his intentions are and while I like him and he seems very lovely I know I'll be keen to hold out for AD - but I don't even know if anything's going on there!

I guess I just answered my own question... I should carry on with my life and be a friend to him when he's looking for it. I just don't want to be a doormat and be there for him if I don't feel he's there for me, or at least in that way. Is there any way I could just do or say something to get a response from him - without being too forward?

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Howard Wise
Howard Wise
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Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.