Well I have made plans to move to Seattle because I got divorced. I got divorced from this man because he was an abusive alcholic and cheated on me He moved someone in and now he has left her and wants to start a new life with me. But due to all the cheating and lieing Im very confused he says he has changed but he only kicked his girlfriend out yesterday and wants me to not move but to be with him Idk what to do. He claims he always loved me and she meant nothing but he was better to her that me, I dont know how many chances I should give him. Counting her he has had three affairs that I know of. This is my only chance to move seattle I dont know if he is worth another chance. He doesnt know im moving yet and I wasnt expecting him to still want me. I am really confused and just want to do the best thing for me and my kids Seattle feels like the best choice but I am scared to lose him for some reason. He was so mean to me during our marriage I was never good enough ever I dont know why I am all of a sudden. I just need some advice
We havent tried anything because he never would. I have been to thearpy on my own to deal with the abuse and cheating in our marriage and they said that he is too damaged to ever change
Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue.
I can imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. You are clearly a caring and loving person. And you seem to be a pretty level headed person as well. Except when it comes to love. Yup. Like most people, men and women, who are caring and loving, the level headed part just goes out the window. Let me give you an example:
Let's say you're buying a used car. You go to the salesman and he says he wants to sell you a car. You buy it and it isn't what he says it was at all. You know he cheated you. Then he sells a car to another lady and you hear about it. And just yesterday you hear he cheated her too. Now he calls you today and says he has a great car, much better than the others he's sold and he wants to sell it to YOU. Do you run right down to his store to buy?
Of course not. He just cheated someone yesterday! Well, with love it's the same thing. The man hasn't had time to show any kind of change in himself. He used a woman and abused her till yesterday. He doesn't even wait a day to find some other woman.
No, you deserve better. You deserve to think of yourself better! And that's what I want you to do: delete his texts, don't answer his calls. Think about yourself deserving something better than a guy who breaks up with someone and not even 24 hours later is on the make looking for some other woman who thinks she's so lowly she has to take someone like that. NO, look for a guy who's caring and loving. Like you're caring and loving.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships