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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2737
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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My husband has a $600.00 truck payment every month that we

Customer Question

My husband has a $600.00 truck payment every month that we cannot afford. He refuses to listen to the fact that this is not in our budget. He is also upside down on this thing, where he's tacked another loan in with it. This sounds like a financial question... but my real question is... how can I make him understand we can't afford this so we can look at other options, instead of him being so stubborn? He loves this truck more than me, more than the house, more than the kids, etc. He's going to burn us in flames with this, and he can't see it.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 4 years ago.
Good afternoon,

I am sorry to hear about your problem. Can you tell me more about your husband's attachment to this truck?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Um, not about the attachment to the truck, itself, I don't think. He feels it has appreciated in value, and is worth 2ce what Kelley blue book value is. I can, however, tell you that I've seen him place significant displacement value on objects that relate to people. For example... I'm not allowed to get rid of an old, dirty coffee mug because it belonged to a friend of his that is now deceased. I'm not allowed to sell the junk tractors, because they belonged to his dad, who is now deceased. I don't think anything like that is going on with the truck... but this is a guy who places significant value on objects. He just really thinks this thing is worth its weight in gold, according to what he's told me... appreciates in value, gets better gas mileage than my car (false), and can resell it at 2ce it's value, blah blah, blah.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I'm very impressed with your credentials. Would be willing to pay a very high fee for more help, later on.
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 4 years ago.
It looks like you didn't receive my last response.

I think it's unlikely that your husband will give up his truck. Are there any other ways you can reduce your monthly expenditures?

The amount you pay Just Answer for my guidance is up to you. I am available to continue assisting you in this matter. When you post a question all you will need to do is write "for Howard H." at the beginning of your question. Please allow sufficient time for me to respond so that another expert doesn't respond to your question.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Yes, there are other ways we can reduce household expenses, but I'm wondering what the love affair might be with the truck.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
This is not a financial question.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
How much would it cost me to talk to you about step children?
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 4 years ago.
If you like, you can post another question to my attention. The amount you pay is up to you.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
Expert asked questions, but never gave an answer of any kind.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 years ago.
I think you have said it perfectly. He gets attached to material things and there isn't much rationality to it from your perspective. The coffee mug he holds dear is from someone with whom he felt close. The truck seems to be his pride and joy and it might be a symbol to him and to outsiders that he is successful because he has this amazing truck, so even if he can't afford the payments he will do whatever he can to hang onto it because he has assigned some meaning to it and to his manlihood it may tell him he has made it, successful, etc. Does that make any sense?

He may also never had things of his own and so he forms these attachments to things and they become larger symbols to him. He may not even understand it, but that is what it sounds like to me. Let me know your thoughts.
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2737
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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