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Hi again. Tell me more about how things are going.
Things are going well, I think.
We had our counseling session on Tuesday.
We had plans this past weekend with a few changes (if you remember, my husband does not like changes)
And I was open and honest about them as soon as they came to light and he seemed flexible (for him!)
yes I do remember it all
I think normally I would approach him with annoyance - as in - why can't he go with the flow? But, of course, that attitude was always met with resistance, so I tried the "lead with trust" deal.
yes because as you are already familiar with his style and he does not have the leeway inside himself to go with the flow
where did he come from???
You're the write...you tell me!
You do remember me!
Of course! Could I really forget?
He came from a crazy family, that's for sure.
everyone brings their stuff to the party marriage party....almost impossible not to.
I brought balloons
And cute shoes.
and maybe he wasnt thrilled with your color choice but he accepted it
My therapist said I probably wouldn't really like someone very outgoing in the long run because that's how I am. Do you think that's true?
I am not sure because that could end up feeling threatening to you. Let me expand...
the ironic thing is the very thing we are attracted to such as his stability, responsibility, work ethic, etc. that you liked when you were much younger are the very things that have you feeling bored although it provides security. So, I just wonder if you were with someone more care-free and free spirited would that somehow cause you to feel uneasy about security?
you may say no way, Jen you are so off base! that's okay too!
Well, I do like that he lets me be center-stage, right?
And if I had to be the responsible one (as in, making sure the mortgage was paid) we'd be in trouble!
yes! and if someone else was there stealing the spot light i just dont know that you would feel that great!
yes you are a writer! :-)
i totally am, although i don't smoke or drink lots of coffee...
and i'm social, which is not usually in a writer's genes.
why dont you write this whole drama in a novel..it will be a best seller
that's what i was thinking...i even have a title!
but we dont have an ending yet..only the beginning and a middle
lets hear it!
"bless her heart" - because i live in the South - that's an expression they all use down here (basically when they are about to follow it with something catty) and i had heart surgery, which i could obviously incorporate...
lol. Love that!
modern-day "The Help"
you know whats funny? I am a spit fire too and so we can match each other quite well and you get energized by it but I truly wonder if you had that in a relationship out there with a man if it would be truly what you want and need
so, can i ask what your husband is like, personality-wise?
mild, even tempered..willing, flexible to go with my bigger personality....see anything?
Ha...he must be his twin!
and no I am not bored.
So, why do you think I'm bored, then?
Its called balance!
because I think it has to do more with acceptance for who he is rather than being upset with who he is.
I just really feel that if you left him and were with another spti fire you would crave the evenness and clamness of him
forget my typos they are ridiculous!
I think its time for a manicure! they are getting stuck on the keys
I think you're right...I found that this weekend when I didn't fault him for having issues with spontaneity and instead gave him the option of backing out, things worked in my favor!
See, I know you!!!!!
I stopped getting manicures awhile ago because between typing at work and the kids, they always looked terrible!
compassion goes a lot further
like I said...i need one....didnt say I would get one!
ha...pedicures are much more worthwhile!
facials are pretty good, too!
eh...too rough for me!
How old are your kids?
do you have twins?
Holy shit! You are a saint!
lol. It is an unbelievable thing but somehow we manage
Whew, I just got tired hearing that.
two at 3....yikes!
Mine are 6 and 9
You got tired from that?
somehow as moms we figure it all out...no other choice
lol no 6 and 9 almost like twins
Well, the nine-year-old acts like a teenager
So, you think I can be happy with my mild-mannered man?
I think that you can but you need to be happy with your insides and your space
if not it will be easy to look at his stuff as the only reason.
Do you not think I'm happy (with myself?)
your compassion last week toward him was helpful...so practice more of that.
i do think you are happy but I think your restlessness makes you feel unahppy
when all you need is a bit of spice somehow.
I've always been restless
having kids young ones at that and doing the same things day to day can get very tedious
Yes, I tell my friends my life feels like it's Groundhog's Day...(as in the movie).
So, I am trying to plan more fun stuff...get out of the rut.
it can be very daunting...same thing day in and day out and that is not your personality
yes but I would also plan some stuff to do alone....a girls trip...something that can re-invigorate your spirit
it is hard when we nourish others all day long every day
Where should we meet? :)
Therapy boundaries suck.
But, yes, I am planning some fun trips.
But also helpful at the same time because there is the safety to be able to express with out judgment
good I like to hear that.
Maybe you need to write a really spicy romance novel...that could help!
51 Shades of Gray?
is that you? LOL
Of course...the protagonist!
I think you will come up with more than 50
I forgot to tell you all of the "rooms" in our house!
so tell me
OMG, totally joking!
Unless you think a playroom is wild.
anything you create seems to be wild
No wonder I'm so popular :)
Ok, should I let you go help someone who really needs it?
ohhh you need it! So so being playful. you are a pleasure
You use that line with all of your customers
only when i need to! :-)
I would laugh if I read something from you that ended with, "You were truly awful."
I would put that in my book!
that would be hysterical!
cant wait to see your stuff on the NY Times best seller
Thanks...I will work on it. And then you will have to break the rules and come to the signing!
Well since I will be co-author we will figure it out!
That is true!
So, what's the ending?
Or should we milk it like the Hunger Games and have a trilogy?
until next time...you havent gotten there yet...but I know you will come back to me.
Ok, have a great day. Talk soon!
cant wait. It has been really awful!
seriously. I look forward. Keep your compassion