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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Gay male figuring it out with a bisexual guy.

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Hi there. So the gay Japanese guy I'm dating texts me yesterday to tell me he's joining Grnder, a gay online pickup mobile application because he was bored. I was understandably mad and instead of texting "I am uncomfortable with this" I quickly blurted out "Bye" followed by "get a "f"ing hobby lol". So we talked this morning and he didn't understand why I was mad. At the same time made our date tentative for tonight because he was going to a party - I'm thinking if he got bored at the party I was a last minute option. He is in the closet and I have not been to his place once and of course never met any of his friends. Our intimacy is so beautiful and we do get along so well when we are alone. I just don't know if this is worth it, because I'm starting to get depressed and thinking I should move on. Any thoughts? We have dating around 1.5 months. No t long. He usually is reliable and maybe I should give it more time.

If you are seeing him after he does something that you think is disrespecting you then you should question that relationship. You give several reasons for why you shouldn't be together. These are red flags. If you know that you don't get along when you are together then that implies that this relationship is not healthy. You shouldn't waste time with relationships that are so obviously not working. You seem willing to compromise and you seem to have worked on this diligently. This says that large changes probably are not in the cards. If he wanted this relationship then he would at least attempt to respect what you want. Engaging in social networks that encourage casual sexual contact is not conducive to a healthy relationship. Lastly if you don't know his friends you have to ask yourself what that signifies. It is a red flag that says there is no relationship except what he wants you believe. I say move on



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