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Anthony, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 42
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Louisiana.
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Customer Question

I have dates this woman for over a year. The frist six monrths were good she was very engaged. I have fallen for her and now she appears withdrawn. She has ahad two disaponting marriages and has noted she hates dating around a lot and wants a relationship? Aged 63
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anthony replied 4 years ago.
Hello there, my name is XXXXX XXXXX I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor. I'd like to shed some insight into your situation.

From what it seems, you two have dated for several months and you are ready to pursue something further than casual dating. How old your lady-friend? Judging by your own age, it is not uncommon for couples later in life to avoid marriage due to previous heartache, issues and concerns with aging, and potential legal concerns such as whether or not to include them in their estate.

You have told her how you feel, and that is the best that you can do. Continuing to push her will only serve to cause her to push back. How do you feel about the relationship? Are you ready to move towards a more exclusive relationship?

The balance of power in life is something that I try to teach many of my clients with relationship concerns. Life and love are often filled with power struggles when one person is not on the same page as the other. While it may seem paradoxical, one of the best ways to gain power over a situation, is to give it up. Tell her how you feel one last time, tell her your intentions, and leave the ball in her court. If she feels the same, she will reciprocate to you. If she does not, well, your time can be better spent on someone who does feel the same. Do make sure to give her a few days or even weeks to sleep on things either way.

Finally, remember that as much as we might want to, we can't ever know what others are thinking or feeling. You've done all that you can in putting your feelings out there, it is now up to her to do the same.

If you've found my answer helpful, please remember to "Accept" it and leave feedback. I am committed to providing you with the best possible answer to your situation, so please feel free to write back if you'd like to discuss things in more detail.

Best of luck to you!

Anthony O, MS, LPC, NCC
Experienced in relationships, career counseling and mental health concerns.

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