I commend you ability to see your insecurities....that is a great step in the right direction. I can hear that you like him very much and it seems he likes you too. I might send him an email acknowledging again how you are sorry you pressured him and doubted him and look forward to connecting with him again. At that point you have done what you can and then some space should be given. he is aware how you feel but it is quite possible he is going through all o those things and doesn't have the ability to give to a relationship now and it may have nothing to do with you. So, in the meantime focus on you and your likes and desires and hopefully he reaches back out.
My apologies but I require further advice from you please. I left it a week and text the guy to see how he was and had worked improved. He replied "and said that work had not improved towards the end of the week, but asked how I was". I asked him "had I put pressure on him in meeting up last weekend to which he "replied " you did not put pressure on me however I mean't everything I said". He repled also " I just cannot be at 2 places at once!". I replied " I am glad that you and me are alright and hoped he had a good wkd" to which I got no reply. I am now thinking that he mean't "he was telling thr truth to the reason he cancelled our meeting up but this did not include that me and him were alright>?Whay am I so anxious about this. Please give me your opion on this as I have discussed this with my sister who advises to hang in there for another week and ring him as too soon would look desperate.
No worries about needing more. You ask why are you anxious? Its because you like him and that is okay.
I am just not sure that he is able to give you what you deserve as he has a lot going on right now
he knows how to reach you and i might let him come to you and if he doesnt then you will know where you stand.
nothing wrong with sending the texts you did.
Yeah possibly you are right, I really cannot do anymore. Do you think your gut feeling pus you in the right direction?
You have done so much and you deserve the mutuality and respect coming back to you. If he is able to step up that will be great but continuing to call him doesnt let you know whether he is interested.
my gut is that he is dealing with his own stuff now and may not be capable of giving to anyone
no reflection on you but more about him
I don't feel I am getting the respect at present from him at present. A text during the week if he was serious would have mean't so much and reasurred me but I don't think this is the case. Yes it is a refelction on him. He told e that he has been engaged twice on 4 years but could never go through with it fo fera of commitment.
go through with the fear of commitment.
oyyyy well that is telling. you need more my friend...he runs when he likes!
lets focus your energies elsewhere so that you can be with someone who can give it all to you
And he told me that he likes me and I never thoguht of it like that.
Wow you have just enlightened me
I did? tell me.
Love when I do that. :-)
I am very conscious of taking your time up but I have one more question if possible please?
no worries....you are not taking up my time. I am here with you and that is my focus. Ask away.
Last Fri again I accidenticently sent a text to a guy called Ciaran instead of my work colleague named Ciara. This guy is someone who hurt me just after the holida period this year. I told him that I was going to adaopt a child and wanted a family like him, however I thoguth he wss only interested in one thing as he cancelled our dates twice. He asked how I was and all the small talk etc. I asked him why he did what he did to whih he responded " I told you the reasons why but you just got mad". I replied " Ciaran all you have done is let me down, I really liked you and there was an emotional connection there for me". He replied "I'm sorry for doing that , ok". I said fine. He asked if I was seeing anyone to which I replied no as I did not want him knowing my business. He replied that " he was seeing someone for the past month but was sure if he and this girl were suited". I replied " give her a chance but do not lead her on also". He replied " do you think I treat people bad and I would not do that ot her". I replied " don't hurt her like you did me". He asked if he could see me to which I replied " no not whe your seeing someone else but also the trust has gone". He replied " so you don't trust me". I replied " really hard to know Ciaran". He asked "if he could see me as friends for a drink next week". I replied " I am working in your area so we can meet for a coffe and that is all it will ever be". He replied "fine, I'll ring you during the week and arrange a meet up". I replie fine, chat then". Yesterday mroning he sent me a text to say hi. I replied that it was good we cleared the air yesterday. He replied "yeah it really was and your lovely xxx". I am just sincere and honest Ciaran, that's all". End pof converastion.
I went ot with this guy twcie in 3 years, what does this sound like to you Jen?
reading and absorbing
Yeah al ot to take to take in, many thanks
seems like another one who gives when they can but that it isnt too much. The drink isnt harmful unless you believe it will stir up to much for you and end up bringing up old feelings of hurt
No it wouldn't bring up old feelings of hurt because my protection is that he is seeing someone and I have high enough morals and conscious to never enter anything with a guy who is involved. When you say another guy who gives when they can but that it isn't too much. What do you mean by that?
exactly meaning that they only give when it works for them but that is not mutuality and for any relationship to work there must be mutuality.
Ok fair enough, thanks.I don't expect to hear from him so I won't waste energy thinking about him. At one point I did really miss him and wanted things to work. He told me that I did mean somehting to him but I said yeah "you were never willing to talk" and that's all I ever wanted. Maybe we could have worked through it but you didn';t give us that chance. Again he said that he was sorry. May be I got what I wanted to tell him and that's all it was ever mean't to be?
I am glad you were able to speak your mind as that is what you need. This other guy wont let you do it so at least you got it with this one. I am looking forward to when you write me to say....Jen, I met this wonderful man, we talk, we laugh, he appreciates me..he calls me, we love, we smile!
It will happen.
That is my Easter wish for you!
Thank you so much for just reading and giving feedback which was honest. Even though we are strangers if I meet somone soon I will deflet you know about this so called great guy. I have to beleive and be positive. Many thanks. Easter belssings to you too. You do great work and I will now accept and promise payment. All the best, Ann.
Thank you Ann. It iw my pleasure to support you. I wish you many blessings and I am here for you anytime. As you know all you have to do is request me. I do look forward. Keep walking tall!
I will and my eyes are teary now for you kind words,
good tears I hope! You are a lovely woman. Dont let anyone rob you of that feeling.
I won't, thank you and bye bye for present.
As foolish as it is I am going to try and reach Alan one more time. I want to send a text to him tonight and say the following "Alan, I would like us to sort things out, however if I don' hear from you then I'll know were finished and just wish him and his daughter well".
How does his sound?
I think I need your truthful opinon on this. It is foolish?
Thank you so much, as that is exactly what I was hoping for. If he responds and says not interested or does not respond, then that is a sign that it is finished and then I will have closure without losing any self respect.
Many thanks Jen and I'll inform you of the outcome.
Well to be fair he did reply promtly and said "were finished" and now there is closure.