But that's her point, Howard. She says my going out when she cannot does NOT take into account her feelings, and I do NOT go out of my way to accommodate her. Her point is, if I did, I would never go anywhere without her, and I would never go out with my friends when she isn't available. She does go to therapy. She has for quite awhile, even before I met her. She got out of her marriage because her husband never took her feelings into account, he was boring, and they never did anything "fun" together. On one vacation we took together, I enjoyed making sure that we had reservations at the finest restaurants, played the best golf courses together, etc. We had a blast. She has done things for me too, and I don't want to make it appear that she hasn't. Again, if she wasn't going to be out of town that weekend, (and with no possible way to change those plans - it's an out of town, college planned event for her daughter), we WOULD BE attanding this event together. I have told her I cannot apologize to her for who or what I am anymore than I expect her to apologize for who she is. I've told her I am sorry if that makes me sound stubborn, and that I do not want to be that way with her. I have told her that I want to work this out, and that I have done everything I can to accept her for who she is, and never asked her to be anyone other than who she genuinely is. I have never asked or expected her to change for me, and the only changes I wish for her are those she has told me she wants for herself. She has stated many times she wants to change, but everytime we go through this, she exhibits the exact same behavior. Honestly? I'm not seeing any improvement. And now, she is giving me an ultimatum, saying to me "You must decide if you want to be in this relationship with me, and with someone like me", possibly inferring, I think, that "this is as good as it's going to get". My response was "But, you've told me that you DON'T want to be this way, and that you're trying to "get better at this". When is that going to happen?".
Howard? I'm 51 years old. So is she. No one has ever made me feel as good as this woman does (when she does). In the back of my mind, I'm concerned that if I do not "relent to this issue", I may never find anyone who I care as much about, and who cares as much about me, and I will go through the rest of my life alone, and kicking myself for letting her go.