Hi there thanks for replying. I am trying to more understand why I have these preferences.
I was sexually abused as a child around the age of 8 - 9. I had to share a bed with my cousin and she used to abuse me. Is this why I like to masturbate alot? Also the reason I prefer masturbation more than sex.
I used to get dressed as a girl when I was younger. Is this why I use girls clothes?
Why do I perfer the thought of being caught having sex or performing a sexual activity? I had let total strangers openly watch and never stopped.
Why did I like paying for sex? I dont pay for sex now but still sometimes pay for oral or hand relief.
I have been researching alot and know a little bit. My cousin was a girl aged 19 at the time. Often when I was young I used to get caught masturbating. Knowing that I could get caught I still openly did it.
But is it not ok to wear ladies clothes, or use them as a stimulant?
Is it not ok to have people watch?
This is what confuses me. I kind of know why I do it. But I still think it is ok.