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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2804
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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Hi Jen, So I took my friend out for dinner Friday night

Customer Question

Hi Jen,

So I took my friend out for dinner Friday night and afterwards we ended up going to a bar and played a few games of pool (she beat me by the way lol). This place had a nice dance floor and she asked me to dance after pool but unfortunately we came there a little bit late and they were closing up (kind of bumed me out a little bit because even though I don't really dance much I was looking forward to it with just me and her). Anyways, the whole night was pretty casual/friendly and we both had a good time. In your last response, you said i should nake plans with ner today for next week to go out on a real date. I really wanted to take her somewehere like a jazz/music cafe but I haven't been able to find one in the phone book in my city unfortnately. I know this one place that has a dance exercise class once a week for one hour for $5, this idea really appealed to me. But it's not until thurs and not only that, I want the interaction of this date to be a little different from the last one (which was slightly high energy due to the bar scene - exception of dinner). What should I do? There's not too much to do in my city during the week
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi Customer.

CoachJenK :

Sounds fabulous!

CoachJenK :

Tell me more about this exercise dance class...is that something she is into?

Customer :

I know she'd love this because she loves dancing. And I kinda figured, it might surprise her

Customer :

the class is called "zoomba dancing"

CoachJenK :

That sounds like a lot of fun and are you ready to let loose and Zumba?

CoachJenK :

I think it would be hysterical

CoachJenK :

I think Zumba and then dinner sounds lovely.

Customer :

so should i make plans with her tonight for thurs then?

CoachJenK :

yes. It shows you had a great time with her on Friday and want to see her again.

Customer :

awesome. Fyi, i dont consider myself to be a great dancer by any means lol, I'm just very open minded to trying new things and new experiences

CoachJenK :

Even funnier then because Zumba is different and the fact that you are willing and willing to be silly will endear her to you even more. Go with it, let loose and have fun!

CoachJenK :

and it shows her you take an interest in her interests! Nothing better than that.

Customer :

thanks for the words of encouragement. When I make plans with her, should I empasise this is a date?

Customer :

because that's what I want to do

CoachJenK :

yes absolutely. "I woulld love to take you on a real date, and I have planned something fun. I hope you will join me and help me in a zumba class and then accompany me to dinner where you can laugh at all my moves from Zumba."

Customer :

im actually wondering if i should surprise her, just tell her to bring some workout clothes lol

CoachJenK :

That could be fun too! I like your creativity.

CoachJenK :

and some clothes to change back into for dinner. You will be sweaty.

Customer :

alrite, sounds good! For future reference, what should my date and call/txt frequency be with her?

CoachJenK :

That will develop once the interest is apparent to both of you.

Customer :

I've never had a relationship before, so that's why I ask so many questions $

Customer :

I hope you don't mind :)

CoachJenK :

if you see her on thursday and during dinner all is going well, ask her out for Saturday if you feel she is receptive.

CoachJenK :

I dont mind at all...I am thrilled to be a support for you

CoachJenK :

and wehn we follow our heart it is usually a great guide.

Customer :

Thanks Jen, you're a sweetheart

CoachJenK :

thank you. I enjoy being here for you.

CoachJenK :

I cant wait to hear all about Zumba. something tells me you are going to have some silly stories for me.

Customer :

something tells me you're right =p

CoachJenK :

ok. don't call her too late tonight.

Customer :

I won't. Thanks for your help once again

CoachJenK :

my pleasure as always. Good luck!

Customer :

:)

CoachJenK :

Come back anytime!

Customer :

hi Jen,

Customer :

So I asked her out on date and basically she rejected my offer and told me she sees me as more like a brother. I told her that was no problem and I was just curious. I value our friendship more than anything in the world to let this get in the way. She was very happy I said that. Even though this was not the answer I wanted, I can not begin to tell you how relieved I am. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders! Thank you so much for all your help, and if I ever need any advice in this category somewhere down the line, you'll be the first person I go to :)

CoachJenK :

I responded in your other post. Let me know you got that.

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