You may be making the mistake that a lot of women make. We often ignore the bad qualities of a partner and focus on the good qualities. What you are describing is someone very insensitive and even narcissist. When someone is narcissistic they always put their needs first and the needs of the partner come second. Their ability to bond wit others is limited by their capacity to do so. They live life and relationships as self serving. His ability to excuse his friend's actions are very consistent because the harm was not done to him. The fact that you were emotionally wounded did not produce a reaction because the insult was directed at you. Please explore the term narcisstic and see if it applies. As far as missing him remember that when you take the good you take the bad too. He doesn't sound like a partner that has your best interest at heart.
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Thank you for your answer. I agree, that he may lack empathy, I am familiar with a narcissist definition. Strangely, I never thought of him to be one, as I thought that he was a sensitive man, as he often cried, what I thought was sympathising/empathising with me. May be I was wrong, perhaps, he was crying about himself..He also used to say because he was so sensitive he used to get upset when I was upset and would try to help, I always thought that he was very KIND...
Now looking back, I remember whenever I tried to share somthing personal with him he would relate it to his ex-girfriends.
For example: I had a breast cancer, one of his exes, female friends also had
I said that I was very said that I didn't have any children, he said one of his female friends was crying on a New Year, why such details?, as she didnd't have any children either
I told him that I was abused - he said that one of his ex-girflriends was abused too..(at this point I regretted my revelation to him)
I said that I'd like to meditate - he said that one of his ex or female friends had had a good results in meditation..
this was very frustrating to me..I said that perhaps he should put me in touch with his exes and female friends as they would be able to empathise with me, since he couldn't, without having a direct experience..
Was I really so mistaken? He was not a taker, taker..He does seem to care of his friends and, definetely, what they thought of him.....He was thoughtful of his friends, family and mother, always reliable, loyal...Doesn't seem quite to fit in the narcissistic type...