There can be many reasons for why people chose negative relationships. One could be a low sense of self worth. If you don't feel that you deserve then you won't look for a higher caliber and actually be unattracted to someone who is healthy and positive for you. Most of the time when people have low self esteem they will seek out relationships that support that belief about themselves. The other possibility is that you have a sort of fetish for women who are nasty and you are sexually excited by the thought that they have this quality. This would be a psychological attraction that would qualify as a sexual fetish. In that case you are not harming anyone by seeking out these partners but short change your own self in finding a partner who is attractive. You have to decide if this habit is worth changing or if this is a way of finding sexual satisfaction without harming anyone.
Please press accept
Your self esteem may be in tact but you have been conditioned to believe that your value is in giving unselfishly to others - not in a healthy way but completely past what someone should give. It is almost like you have placed your value on how much you can give up and this leads to a compulsive need to give to others without considering your own needs. This is exhausting and you or the other person tires of this cycle. You need to focus now on holding back something for yourself. That means stopping and considering when you give are you crossing the boundary that is typical for most people. If you have crossed that line then learn to hold back so that the pattern of holding back reinforces the fact that you are valuable without this behavior. Eventually you will also meet someone that is willing to find value in you without being showered with your giving ways
You are, of course, right on.
Do you have any tips on "considering when you give and are crossing the boundary."
I know I am doing it...but feel I have a "lot to give"
How can I stop doing it and stay "..within the boundary that is typical for most people."
No you shouldn't expect something back. However people are all different. Everyone expects something if you mean in terms of attention. You do have to learn to hold back. Ask yourself when you are giving why you are doing it. Otherwise you will feel resentful.
Please press accept or leave feedback; that is the only way I am compensated