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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3140
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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Hi. My friend is having a birthday party for his 3 year old

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Hi. My friend is having a birthday party for his 3 year old and he invited my wife and I. Currently, my wife and I are going through infertility problems. He has a great friend, but we were asked some rude questions and comments (not by my friend) at the last party about having kids. I feel like it will be too painful and depressing to attend this birthday party. Is it wrong of me to not attend since he's a good friend? What should I say to him if I to let him know we are not going? Maybe I could send a gift.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome

Customer:

Hi

CoachJenK :

How would you feel expressing yourself openly about how painful it is to be there right now. Would they understand?

Customer:

I think they would. They were told they wouldn't be able to have kids and now they have 2! They went 4 years with thinking they wouldn't be able to have kids.

CoachJenK :

Well, I think this is the way to handle it. They sound like they will understand based on their experience as well. You are entitled to feel how you do and I am so sorry for your pain.

Customer:

They know we are struggling with infertility too.

CoachJenK :

yes and so many people ask and say inappropriate things and if you feel you need to shield yourself from it now then you should...absolutely acceptabel.

Customer:

Thanks Coach. I'll express this to them. It's very stressful that we are going through the infertilty now.

CoachJenK :

yes I understand. You can spend more time with me here if you want to process some of that too. I am here to support you.

Customer:

Do you think they'll get mad if I express this to them? They know we would attend otherwise.

CoachJenK :

I would hope they would have compassion and i think they will especially if you discuss how painful it is for you right now.

Customer:

Okay, I think they will too. They are great people. I

CoachJenK :

and so are you. Please keep the faith as I believe it will happen for you!

Customer:

Thanks!

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