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Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1168
Experience:  Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
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I have known this girl for 4 years but didnt get close till

Customer Question

I have known this girl for 4 years but didn't get close till about a year an a half ago.. I pursued her for about a 1 year and we got really close. I told her I could not take us being friends anymore and I went no contact for about 3 weeks than she wanted to give it a shot with me only if we take it slow, to which I agreed.

Its been almost 5 months and we have yet to be intimate. We make out and kiss like a normal couple but that Is it. I had a talk with her today and told her that my main goal with her was to get close but due to the fact that she has had a lot of * * * * ed up relationships, the last one the guy who she gave her V card to cheated on her than he ended up marrying and having a kid with the girl he cheated on her with. This happened almost 3 years ago and I believe it really messed her up on an emotional level. I told her I was getting frustrated with the pace in which the relationship was going because I'm ready to get intimate.. She told me that she's still trying to get used to us dating because we were friends for so long before and that she's having trouble with me being 29 and her 22. She also said she is scared to give to much because she might get hurt. I also believe she has a fear of intimacy due to her past relationships. I told her I thought she should go talk to someone about all of her intimacy problems. But I don't think she was down for that idea cause she think she would be crazy if she went and talked to someone. She says she is very attracted to me and wants to get intimate but she's having a hard time getting over that hump and that she needs more time.
I don't mind waiting until she is ready but I'm just really not sure she is ever going to be ready and we are just wasting each others time trying to make this work. I'm really letting this frustration get to me and I'm not sure what to do. I really don't want to play cat and mouse games or anything like that to get her to pursue and work for my attention but It looks like I might have too.

What should I do?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. L replied 4 years ago.
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