I understand how it is difficult for you to make the decision and you still love him. That is understandable. I think you should not take him back right away, but you should keep in contact with him and work on your marriage. I think you are on the right track with speaking to his therapist and going to counseling together. If he is lying cause he does not want to upset you then try explaining to him that you will rather him be open with you and work out the issue instead of lying since that will only make it worse. To be honest with you sometimes people lie because they do not want to hurt the others feelings, but that is more like for example if you made dinner and he did not like it he tells a lie that either it was good, so he does not hurt you or he avoids the answer and instead of lying he says "Thank you so much for cooking. That was wonderful of you" That way you do not lie nor hurt the person, but from what I see is the types of lies he is doing is more to protect himself from having trouble with you, so he can do what he wants and not because he does not want to hurt you. If he wanted to do the loan he should have spoke to you about it, so you both can make a wise decision together. Also, the fact that he was on a dating site. In general if he does not want to hurt you he should not lie, but rather he should avoid doing the acts that will hurt you. It is hard for you, but I think that your head is in the right place and you are in the right direction. Communicating with him, letting him show you he has changed for real, speaking with his therapist, and going to counseling together are all the things that will help your relationship and his issues. He needs to get help not only for his lying, but also the things he is doing because some of the things he is lying about are problems as well. When he shows you through actions he has changed and he will be honest and communicate with you then I think you should get back with him. Doing what you did will show him you are serious about this and hopefully that will give him the wake up call. I do not think you are a fool to give him another chance, but I think you should not rush it and you should be careful as well as take the necessary steps I mentioned. You will know when it is time to move on. That is when you tried all your options, you are fed up and done your part 200%. You will then know and feel it. I hope this has helped more and again I hope it all works out for you both and I wish you all the best!