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JaRee1993
JaRee1993, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 180
Experience:  I am a licensed Mental Health Counselor who does individual, group, relationships, family and pastoral counseling
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Hi there. My name isXXXXX have been dating this girl

Resolved Question:

Hi there. My name isXXXXX have been dating this girl for almost 9 months now. She is a real sweetheart, loves me and everything, but she is extremely clingy. I work at 5 am and so I need to leave her place around 10 (she lives 45 km away) so I can get to bed, and when im getting up she latches onto me and wont let go, and then she starts crying when I finally do go so I feel like a complete jerk. I have talked with her multiple time and have told I feel like im suffocating, but it changes for a week and then gos back to how it was. Also she rarely if ever comes out to see me voluntarily, or otherwise.

I almost broke up with her about a week ago, but I decided I wasnt going to rush it and make a decision that I was going to regret. Now there is this other girl. Beautiful, funny, extremely nice, and we have so much in common that we could literally talk for hours and we wouldnt run out of things to talk about. My current doesnt talk really, she will call me, say hi, how are you, whats up, and thats it. Most of the time I just end up saying I need to go and thats that.

Is it wrong that I am falling for this other girl? She is responsible, has a job, no car but she is saving, is living with her siblings, and she just has motivation and wants to save money, and travel, and do all those things.

My current gf is younger, just turned 18. (the other girl is 1 month older than me, 21 in march) She has a car, doesnt pay for the gas, her parents do. Doesnt have or want a job, hates dogs...which I need a dog when im older, havent ever gone without one. She cries when I leave, she doesnt communicate, doesnt come to see me. She is dropping over half her classes because they are "hard" even though she is good at them, and she doesnt want a job even though she just freed up 4 hours dropping the classes. She went into hairdressing but doesnt wanna be liscensed because its too "hard"

I cant help but thing of this other girl.....
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JaRee1993 replied 2 years ago.

JaRee1993 :

Hi, thank you for contacting Just Answer. My name is Ja`Ree and I am a mental health counselor. It sounds as though your current girlfriend has some issues that would indicate she would benefit from some mental health counseling. If this is the case, nothing you can do will help her change. She needs to get some professional help to assist her in dealing with the issues. When someone has these kind of issues it is difficult for them, if not impossible to have a healthy relationship because they need the other person to make them feel good about themselves. Although you cannot help her, you can keep her from taking you down as well. Now as far as the other girl is concerned, only you can decide whether or not you want to move on past your current girlfriend and break it off with her and begin a new relationship with the new girl. I would highly recommend that you break off the other relationship before starting the new one so that you do not become more confused than you are and to avoid feeling torn and guilty. It does not sound as though it is going to be easy to break off with the current girlfriend, however, I think you need to do what is best for you and hope that she finds someone who can help her work through her issues and find happiness in herself before she tries to find it in someone else. I hope this answer helps you.


Please let me know if I can assist you further in this. If this answer has helped you then please press the Accept button at the bottom of the page so that I can be paid by Just Answer. Also, please fill out the feedback form so that I can know how to better serve our customers. Again, thank you for contacting Just Answer. Ja`Ree


 

Customer:

So if you dont mind me asking, since you are the expert, how do you suggest breaking up with her? I dont want to hurt her, but I know that it will. I just want to let her down as easy as possible...Im not good at this, I hate hurting people, but I know what is best for me.

Customer:

I mean, the age gap of 18 to 21 is not the same as the gap of say 21 to 24. I am much more mature than she is.

Customer:

Is it wrong to feel like this?

JaRee1993 :

I would be as honest and gentle as you can. I do not think I would mention the other girl, however, I would talk about your concerns about her behavior and the difference in your life goals. No matter how you do it she is going to be hurt and she is going to be very dramatic. I would keep it short, do not get caught up in a long drawn out goodbye for that will not help either of you. You will have to cut all ties with her to keep from dragging it out for both of you.. However, if you know one of her good friends and feel free to do so, alert them to having broke up with her and ask them to please be there for her and keep an eye on her. She may even threaten suicide to get you to stay that is why you need to be ready for anything she may throw at you and stay strong, but also make sure there will be someone there for her to talk with. I wish you all the best. Please let me know if I can assist you further in this. If this answer has helped you then please press the Accept button at the bottom of the page so that I can be paid by Just Answer. Also, please fill out the feedback form so that I can know how to better serve our customers. Again, thank you for contacting Just Answer. Ja`Ree

JaRee1993 :

If this answer has helped you then please press the Accept button at the bottom of the page so that I can be paid by Just Answer. Also, please fill out the feedback form so that I can know how to better serve our customers. Again, thank you for contacting Just Answer. Ja`Ree

Customer:

Thank you very much...if possible, would you be available to talk after it happens?

JaRee1993 :

Yes. Just go to my page and ask your question and I will get it. Or just put this question is for Ja`Ree. I hope it all works out for you. I do need you to accept this answer though so I can get paid by Just Answer. Thank you, Ja`Ree

JaRee1993, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 180
Experience: I am a licensed Mental Health Counselor who does individual, group, relationships, family and pastoral counseling
JaRee1993 and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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