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Suzanne
Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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For Suzanne, please. Hi, Suzanne. I was just going through

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For Suzanne, please.

Hi, Suzanne. I was just going through some emails, saw I still had a balance, and thought I'd check in. I've refrained from asking another question several times because it brings me more pain to talk about. But I think I can ask this one fairly unemotionally. I see my ex-boyfriend occasionally, through work, and when I look at him he doesn't even seem like the same person. (This isn't just when I'm near; it's when I see him from afar, as well.) Is it possible, even common, that someone can change so much that they actually become a totally different person?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Josie-Mod replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I am a Moderator with Just Answer. I sent your requested Expert a message to follow up with you here, when they are back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.

Expert:  Donna-moderator replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I am a Moderator with Just Answer. I sent your requested Expert a message to follow up with you here, when they are back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.

Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.
it's good to hear from you again. No, I don't think a person can really change THAT much in such a short time, aside from a change in haircut, etc.

My guess is that YOU'VE changed, and now you're seeing him without "love blinders." I've actually experienced this in my own life, and was really surprised at how different the person looked to me when I was no longer in love with him.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hmm, that's interesting. What if it's been around three years? I still think I love him. Think I do.
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.
This is one question I think only you can answer. Only you can know how you feel, and how much you're willing to risk to find out if he still feels the same toward you. If it's been three years since you've been together, the particulars of his life may have changed. One way to think about it is that you don't have much to lose by asking him...if he says no, you're in the same boat you are now, but if he says yes, then anything is possible.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX just found out he is seeing someone, and I would probably seem desperate(I do feel desperate sometimes but try to hide it.)
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

Thank goodness you found that out before approaching him! Best to leave things as they are. Maybe finding out that he's no longer available will free up your thoughts and emotions so that there's room in your heart for someone else.

 

It's getting late, and I'll be going off line now.

I wish you the best.

Suzanne

Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience: Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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