I think also that I have problems. I left a christian fundamentalist church that I had been a member of for 20 years when I met my partner. We were sleeping together and it was against the rules so I was kicked out for a year. I lost most of my friends, and have been struggling with rejection, and trying to get back on my feet. Whenever I start to get close to my partner, I cause an upset, its something that I have a problem with, an insecurity, then it damages o8ur relationship. How can I change? I want to so desperately, but the nasty voice in my head seems to take over at times, and I can't shut it up. I talked to my partner about these things this afternoon, he told me that he was hurt, stresses out too much about us, and wants to live on his own with his son, and also get better by himself as he has serious health problems. I've apologised, and agreed to do what he wants. Can you help me to turn this around in only a few weeks? I've tried Rori Raye's methods of leaning back, loving myself etc, but it hasn't brought harmony.
You need to understand to accept who you are. Getting kick out of a Christian church that you have been going to for 20 years because you slept with your partner. You should have never been thrown out because God forgives and accepts all people. I understand that what has happened with intimacy because every time you want to be intimate it is a mental block because you feel it is wrong. When you were intimate it caused you to get throw out of a place you love and you lost friends because of it. You have to overcome this problem because right now your partner needs you more than ever due to the fact he is sick. He knows right now he can't deal with anything else but just focusing on getting better and you need to be there for him. Put everything aside and focus on each other. Explain that he is number one and you will help him through this. Being there for someone shows how much you want to be in this person life it shows love. You both need to get back to when your love for each other was number one. Your love for each other is number one right now. I want you to stay positive and really think about what is important and that is you and him right now.
It seems that your church has let go of you but you have not let go of it. That's okay. I think your church attachment is really an attachment to your relationship with the creator. Also, it is possible that you are really attached to being in the company of people who share your faith. Do you think it is possible for you to find a home in another church? If you have not found home in another church then you may be feeling guilty for trading church for your relationship with your boyfriend. You don't have to feel that way since you can find another church home. And maybe he can help you do it. Once you get settled back into church your ability to get close to your boyfriend may improve. What do you think?
15 years teaching people to have satisfying relationships.