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Ask Ashley, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 17
Experience:  Having built my reputation in this area of expertise, I have conducted workshops on relationships. Let's discuss your issues.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. He says

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My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. He says we are in a serious relationship and our love for each other grew quickly. Recently he drifted and I noticed. He said his Employer is offering him a promotion in a different country maybe Switzerland or Singapore. He's been desperately wanting his career to improve and be in management. He said that's probably what I noticed. He wants some space now. I cried and said yes I will give him space. The next day I was in so much pain he wanted to talk, I said I would go with him but it's his choice. He said he has a lot to think about and wants a few days of space. I accidentally forgot my mouth guard at his place last night. He texted me back an hour ago with, "You left your guard over!". I'm thinking it sounds like he doesn't want any one item remaining there. I don't know. Is he going to break up with me? How do I respond to that text. We all learn and grow... I don't want to lose him and would like to know how I should repond to his text and this situation? Should I break it off and tell him I'm dating new people or should I let him decide? What is your advice? I'm hurting emotionally and confused. Thank you.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ask Ashley replied 2 years ago.

Ask Ashley :

Hello, thank you for choosing JustAnswer. I will do my best to help you today.


 


I am so sorry for the difficulty you are experiencing in your relationship. Such problems are always very stressful.


 


The best advice I can give is what I would do if I were in your shoes.


 


First of all, I would like to point out that your thought process regarding the mouth guard does not click with me. I do not think that him pointing out the mouth guard had anything to do with the health of your relationship.


Second, please do NOT push him away by saying you are seeing other people. I would advise that you speak with him in person and tell him how you feel and what your perception of the situation is. Tell him that you respect he needs his space at this time in his life, but he has to be able to meet your needs too, and right now you are hurting.

From what I perceive, he is not necessarily going to break up with you. In such situations, it is best NOT to determine an outcome right away. It is not to his advantage to simply leave. A good guideline I personally apply is to take 2 weeks to yourself. At the end of that time, you can reconnect with him. You will find that after that time, you are a stronger person. You have reconnected with who you are. Hopefully by the end of no INITIATING contact within those 2 weeks, he would have contacted you within that time.


 


If you would like even more insight, I would suggest you check out yahooanswers.com. I have personally found tremendous insight into finding solutions for my own problems.


 


I do hope I have helped you in some way. If you think so, please kindly Accept my answer. Take care, because you’re worth it.

Customer: How so I respond to that text about forgetting my mouth guard. Just say say sorry? I don't want to appear like a rug either. :/
Customer: Do I say I want or need two weeks alone? I know word choices can affect the outcome with men. Any suggestions or examples helps with my understanding. ThanKk
Ask Ashley :

Afternoon, if I were in your shoes, I would simply say, "Oops! How can I get it back? Sorry about that."

Ask Ashley :

Go ahead and just be honest with him with where you're coming from. Say that you would like to be with him, but he can't be with you enough to meet your needs. Therefore, you think it would be best if you took 2 weeks apart to see how you felt afterward. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Ask Ashley :

I would employ this technique personally, because it was very stressful waiting for him to initiate contact with me, and I wasn't sure if he would do so, or not. I would rather just take 2 weeks to myself and not have him a part of my world.

Ask Ashley :

I look forward to hearing about how things turn out, as well as your kind thought to click Accept if you feel this answer has helped you. Take care.

Customer: I don't understand, I explained to him that at first I think the distance would break us up and knew that would happen unless there was options for him to stay. Then that night and the following day I was super hurt and constant pain n tears so we talked an I said I would go with him. We talked about how soon it could happen, he didn't say no I couldn't just that he needed to think it over, so why am I taking two weeks to think for? I made up my mind. Hmmm, how does the two weeks for me help this? Thanks so much, I appreciate your feedback and explanation so I understand.
Ask Ashley :

Let me examine your new concerns...

Ask Ashley :

I see what you are saying.

Ask Ashley :

I think you should ask him to talk through the thinking process with him.

Ask Ashley :

If he wants you in his future, he should be happy to accommodate you.

Ask Ashley :

This concerns you, not just him, so he should include you in the process.

Customer: Thank you and take care. God bless.
Ask Ashley, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 17
Experience: Having built my reputation in this area of expertise, I have conducted workshops on relationships. Let's discuss your issues.
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