How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1785
Experience:  Providing the Utmost Care and Support
64783947
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Coach Jen K. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

my wife of 20 years and I are in a real rough patch. 3 years

Customer Question

my wife of 20 years and I are in a real rough patch. 3 years ago I foolishly cheated on her and a nuclear bomb has hit my family . Together we have 6 children 5 are ours together. After my affair, my wife has had several. we have been saparated now for over a year almost 2. My oldest daughter hates me for ruining our family and lives with her mother in a rental property thbat was left to my in a trust right after we split up. Since the break up my wife seems to go out of her way to defy anything i ever stood for. For example, my daughter's boyfriend just moved into the house and is staying in my girlfriends bed while my ex sleeps down stairs? Where does this fly on a parenting level? My daughter is 18, graduated from high school last year but chose to not go to college as of yet. My ex buys pot from my daughters boyfriend makes brownies with them smokes with them...Is it me or is there something really wrong here?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.
Yes something is wrong here. Bad decisions are being made and parental decisions have fallen by the wayside. I know you had the affair and she had several, but is there a way to remain separated but continue to co-parent effectively? I don't hear that your wife is willing to cooperate. Are there minors in the house when this behavior is going on? If so, you may need to enlist the help of an attorney to get custody of the minor children. I know one of them is 18, but I am not sure if the others are living there too and what the ages are.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am sorry I thought I responded to this, please forgive my delay!

After 20 years one would think we could co-parent effectivly but there is very little communication between us that does not end in a fight. I do not mean to sound like a hypacrit but having my daughters boyfriend move into this house, sleeping in her bed just down the hall from the mother just seems too weird for Jerry springer. My daughter will turn 19 april 2. Am I just over reactiing? As for the pot smoking, i do not believe they smoke in front of the young kids but thte kids come home telling me about seeing the bong or smelling weed or seeing the plans in the closet. This si disturbing to say the least. When my son was 17 we used to randomly drug test him. I found a letter my daughter wrote last year at 17 where she was mad that my wife was smoking all her pot.
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.
This needs to be worked through. I know you are not together but you both need to get into some sort of parenting coaching or therpay to deal with these issues around the kids. It does not sound like a healthy environment and one that needs to be corrected. The other option is to have your child come live with you.
Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1785
Experience: Providing the Utmost Care and Support
Coach Jen K. and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I know you are expressing your opinion and not giving advice but I am aware that we need to work it out. I have all the kid here with me at the moment but this is all working on my noodle. I just want muy family back. I don't now what to do. she is wreacklessly doing what ever the heck she wants. To hang around your 18year old and her friends and party. they just seems wrong.

I have thought about getting CPS involved but scare me too...

thank fo ryour help
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K.
Counselor
1785 Satisfied Customers
Providing the Utmost Care and Support