How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question

TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3203
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
TherapistJen is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have broken with my gf of 5 years since 2 months now. But

Customer Question

I have broken with my gf of 5 years since 2 months now. But she kind of meets me every day, behaves the same way, possesive, caring and loving. She met my parents and they liked her. So i thought i will ask if she want to get back togethere as things were looking ok to me. I thought that if she wouldnt have had any feelings for me she wouldnt meet me so often,
She also told me a a while ago that ahe has been seeing someone else and i know that its not going well that side. The other person is married with a baby, and apparently he has told her that hes gonna leave/divorce his wife to be with her. Thats kind of scary!!!!

I tried to make her understand in the begining but she wouldnt listen so i dont tell her anything now. my question is that if she doesnt wanna be with me, why does she wanna come close to me and my family.

I asked her few days ago if she want to get back together/marry me, but she got irritated and upset when i asked this. and said NO to me.then she goes to my friends and tells them all this. I told my ex that i just wanted be sure what i need to do.

Another thing is that she doesnt tell anyone abt this new guy of hers, i mean their circumstances. I mean i just dont understand why?? I felt very bad for making her upset by asking her to marry me.

I wanna know what i did is right?? I even called her later that and apologised if i made her upset. Her reply was that she doesnt know what she is doing and she is feeling that everyone is taking advantage of her, shes like she wants to be alone and figure out.

As we say actions speak louder than words, same was the situation with me. Her action showed everyone that she is back together with me and almost all of my friends felt that and even i felt that too.

Please guide how to go from here, or what should i do from here, as i still do love her.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
You sound like a very loving and caring man and are apologizing to her for expressing your feelings. I commend you for being able to be in touch with your emotions and for being able to articulate them. My concern is that she is all over the place right now. She sees you every day but doesn't want anything deeper..meaning she needs you when she needs you but forget about how you may feel or how that may impact you. Relationships are about mutuality and respect and I don't hear that much of that is coming to you in that way.
Why she doesn't say anything about the new man she is seeing? That is because she knows that it isn't right. I know that you miss and lover her and I know you want her back, but I suggest that you take a step back, place a boundary on her seeing you and spend some time alone with your feelings to dig deep and see if this woman is really what you want with the type of behavior and lack of integrity she has shown. She disregards your feelings each time she is with you and then gets upset with you for telling her how you feel and what you want.
Be true to yourself and give yourself some space to heal from this. Please let me know how else I can support you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Thanks for your reply.


Should i cease contacting her or limit my contacts. Another thing i have noticed in her behaviour is getting rude, dominating and aggressive and then she would utter crap about me to my own friends which hurts a lot.


I spoke her today and told her about her behaviour, she told me that she thinks people are pressurising her and she wants to be alone. I said sure, u will get ur space and told her that i wont contact her untill she does. this other man is being very very very very overly nice to her and then she brings in that comparision thing between him and me. I never even say anything wrong about him, as i know it could go against me. I told her that she cant compare him and me and we 2 are diff people. I just dont get it that what is it that other man is putting in her head. whatever i do for her goes unnoticed, shes breaking with most of her friends.they tell me that she is all together a diff person.


Even all my friends feel that she is doing wrong, but dont know how to make her understand. But keeping in mind that i dont wont loose my dignity and manood. Can u suggest of anything??




I went to her this morning and

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
I do suggest space and no contact would be the way to go now. Preserve your dignity as you say and not tolerate the rude behavior she is putting toward you and the disrespect she is showing you. Time to take care of yourself now.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
thanks and what if she contacts me, do i ignore or talk.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
You can let her know that you are taking the much needed space and you would like no contact.

Related Relationship Questions