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JaRee1993
JaRee1993, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 180
Experience:  I am a licensed Mental Health Counselor who does individual, group, relationships, family and pastoral counseling
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anyone out there to talk to?

Customer Question

anyone out there to talk to?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JaRee1993 replied 4 years ago.

JaRee1993 :

Hi, thank you for contacting Just Answer. My name is JaRee and I am a mental health counselor. What is going on for you that you need to talk?

JACUSTOMER-sqgo96eu- :

Well, I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now and he is convinced that I have had sexual relations with another man, in fact more than one

JaRee1993 :

So what is your question for me?

JACUSTOMER-sqgo96eu- :

The messages he is sending me is all over the place, I guess I would like for you to help me know if I should give him space to heal or if he really would like for me to show him that I still care

JACUSTOMER-sqgo96eu- :

I have not had sexual relations with anyone but he is determined to prove that I have

JaRee1993 :

How old are you and how old is he?

JACUSTOMER-sqgo96eu- :

I am 41 and he is 42

JaRee1993 :

Do you know why he thinks you have been sexual with someone else? Have you thought about going to counseling with him to help you two find a way to communicate so that you can help see that you have not been unfaithful?

JACUSTOMER-sqgo96eu- :

we had stopped talking for about two week in regards to another disagreement, and within those two weeks I had confessed to him that I was on on online dating site. He is convinced that I had met up with someone on there and was unfaithful. I had also confessed to him that about two months ago at a work conference I had a little too much to drink and kissed another man....but that is all. He is very hurt over this, I have never seen him like this before. He is convinced that I have slept with these people and is focused on proving it. I must tell you that he is a police officer, I think this is why he is so determined to prove this

JaRee1993 :

With what you have told me I can understand why he questioning this now, and his being a police officer would increase his suspicions. I would probably give him some space to work through this and I would also probably recommend that maybe you find someone to talk with who can help you discover why you got on the dating sight and kissed the other man if you are happy in this relationship. There may be a signal that you are giving out that you are not aware of telling him you are not sure if you are ready to commit to the relationship. This may be coming from some inner fear of commitment for you or fear of being hurt if you allow yourself to commit. I really do thing that couples counseling would help both of you figure out what is going on with you both and work through the issues together. I would do this after giving him a little space to heal. Does all of this make sense?

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