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lifecoach28, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21
Experience:  15 years teaching people to have satisfying relationships.
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But what about me? Im tired. I need a break. My husband

Customer Question

But what about me? I'm tired. I need a break. My husband is upset if I come home and am too tired to sit and watch television. My boss is really satan in disguise. I have been at my job for almost 26 years. My husband never offers to do anything for me. He can cook and cleans well. The meal that he through in the sink was breakfast. I fixed his plate and brought it to him. We argued and he threw the plate in the sink. I have a mid-term exam on Monday for a very difficult class. I am trying to study. I don't like to argue. I do not raise my voice and I never use profanity. I have been there for my husband when he didn't have a job for 19 months. I payed the mortgage, the cars, insurance, groceries, utilities, everything and he took his unemployment and pocketed the money or gave it to his 32 year old daughter.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 4 years ago.
You do need that time where you can sit down and relax because you worked hard all day. But all he wants to do is spend time with you because he loves and cares about you. He doesn't like things getting in the way of you and him. Like you working late he wants all your time. You have been there for him through a tough time when he was not working and he does know this, but when he knows what he has and how good you are too him, he doesn't want to lose you, so he feels if you say fall asleep while watching tv or you want to go to bed to get rest. He takes that as you do not want to spend time with him. He is the type of person that needs to be reassured that you love and care about him. I know this is going to be hard, but you need to study for the exam and he need to understand that you have to do this, that it is very important. He needs to see that you also have things you need to get done, but maybe you can tell him that you will make sure you make time for him. Even if you picked a day you both will watch tv together.
Expert:  lifecoach28 replied 4 years ago.
It seems like frustrations are becoming larger and overwhelming. It might be a good idea to get back to the basic issues. One thing I see is that your husband wants your attention and feels he is not getting it. This could have upset him so much that he threw your food away. Is there any way you two can make a date to spend time together on a day that you are off of work? A regularly scheduled date works wonders for many marriages.

You mentioned that you attend school and you work. This would make anyone super tired. Do you think you would have enough energy to make a compromise with him on that? For example, he could allow you to nap for a couple hours in exchange for you sitting watching a couple shows with him when you wake up. Now, if you two agree on this, then when you watch television with him you have to show a genuine interest in him and at least half an interest in the show you watch. Does that sound good?

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