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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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My husband is angry, yelled and used a lot of profanity and

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My husband is angry, yelled and used a lot of profanity and through the food I prepared in the sink, breaking the plate. All this because I had to work late and didn't get in until 2:00 a.m. He called me several times at work on my work number and I answered each time. Yet he is upset that I didn't call and tell him I would be working late as well as apologize for coming in late. This has been going on for several years now and ironically seems to surface when I am under a lot of stree at working with a very demanding boss and a mid-term exam on Monday. I'm so hurt and angry that it is difficult to study for the exam. Help!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 2 years ago.
What is happening is he wants to spend his time with you and he also wants to be informed that you are going to be late because he feels it is inconsiderate if you didn't tell him. He wants to be put first over anything. He doesn't know how to control his emotions when it comes to how he feels about you. He doesn't want to see you working late because it takes time away from home. I feel like his personality is someone that needs your attention. Instead of telling you how he really feels, he gets angry and uses bad words to express himself. Instead of calmly saying how he feels his level of anger get so high he does not know how to control how he feels. Him putting food in the sink is him expressing that you were not there to have dinner with him, that he is trying to express his hurt so he throws out something you made which is dinner. He knows that you have to work but he doesn't like that it takes time away from him. He wants to spend his time with you and he also wants to know if you are working late. He also could have trust issues where he is worried if you are not around that he will lose you and he does not know how to live without you. If you have anymore questions I am here. One way to handle this is to tell him exactly what you are doing and if you will be late.explaining how you feel about him throwing the food in the sink and if he could please stop, that it upsets you. He needs to know how you feel.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1779
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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