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JaRee1993
JaRee1993, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 180
Experience:  I am a licensed Mental Health Counselor who does individual, group, relationships, family and pastoral counseling
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Dont know where to start in finding my way back into my marriage.

Customer Question

Don't know where to start in finding my way back into my marriage. Seems like i am the bad guy- scared i am damaging my children 6 1/2 and 3years. I am the mother - cannot connect with father. So lonely.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JaRee1993 replied 5 years ago.

JaRee1993 :

Hi, thank you for contacting Just Answer. My name is JaRee and I am a mental health counselor. You sound hurt and kinda lost. In order for me to give you the best recommendation I can give you could you please give me a little more information? Are you and your husband together or divorced? Can you please give me your story of where you are both at emotionally and how it got to where it is? If you live separately where do children live. I will be waiting for your reply. Thank you, Ja`Ree

JACUSTOMER-scmfk64e- :

Hello and thank you for your response. Yes we live together ( and have been for 10 years ). We have 2 children together ( he has 2 older kids from an earlier marriage who are in their 20s and we all get along really well.

JACUSTOMER-scmfk64e- :

My husband is German, I am Australian. I have recently lost my job owing to our company being acquired. My husband currently commutes during the week so we only see each other on the weekends and don't talk much during the week...

JACUSTOMER-scmfk64e- :

Where are we emotionally is difficult to say. He is more the type of "it is as it is at the moment" and is totally committed to the relationship - i am rather more needy I guess. we are easily angered by each other and I am sure I could be better here if I could diffuse myself this would keep everyone more balanced. Intuitively, I feel that if i can be more adaptable and resigned we will make more progress as my husband will become receptive again to me over time.

JACUSTOMER-scmfk64e- :

he has complete faith that we are right together - just that I need to a,b,c,d ( rather more than he does I have the feeling ).

JACUSTOMER-scmfk64e- :

This kind of shuts me out and way from him as when I want to talk about something that is not "totally great" - he has little reserve and I feel like I am complaining.

JACUSTOMER-scmfk64e- :

this therefore frustrates me as we don't seem to get to the bottom of anything and the same record plays... we resolve our differences only to relive them a week later.

JACUSTOMER-scmfk64e- :

I am currently studying a Masters Degree online ( full time ) and we have full time help in the house with the kids.

JaRee1993 :

Have you considered finding a counselor that can help you work through you feelings on a regular basis and help you develop skills you need to help deal with this frustrating situation? It sometimes help to talk through things with an outsider who deals with these kind of situations and helps you find the answers within yourself that you are looking for. What do you think?