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Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1773
Experience:  Providing the Utmost Care and Support
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Last night my husband was not at home at 10:15 pm. His cell

Resolved Question:

Last night my husband was not at home at 10:15 pm. His cell phone was out of commission but I reached him at his office number. He said he had fallen asleep and would be "out the door" in 1 minute. At 1:00 AM he was still not home. I called his adult son who recommended to wait for another 45 minutes and if he was not at home then, that he would volunteer to go to his father's office to make sure nothing was wrong. In the meantime, this son called the city jail to see if anyone had been admitted for DUI. At 1:55 AM, husband comes strolling into the house. You need to know we live 60 miles away from Las Vegas NV, and I-15 that he travels to and from work has nothing but moonscape, that is, no one to help if he had had an accident. Not calling when he changes plans or is going to be very late has happened repeatedly. We are in our 60's, you'd think this gross disrespect would have been ironed out by now.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hello, thank for joining me. Please forgive any typos as I get very immersed in my work with you and sometimes my brain goes faster than my fingers.

CoachJenK :

It sounds like he is just not interested in paying attention to your feelings are giving you the respect that you deserve. Talking with him doesn't seem to help and so I am wondering where you are with your desire for a next step.

Customer:

We are both too old for a divorce but I must admit, he has not been responsive to many of my requests. I would like to have him feel the panic and worry that a person goes through under my circumstances last night so that he will call next time. His son was also very concerned. I would like him to empathize and respect my request. I know I can't make a person feel anything, we don't get to control anyone else's feelings. I don't think he is cheating, yet I do remain open to the possibility. He runs his own business and keeps his own hours. He often works late, and the business requires it. But FRIDAY?

CoachJenK :

The responses are going though each time not sure why scroll up a bit so you can see my last response

CoachJenK :

Are you with me?

Customer:

I am with you and waiting. I responded to your first question.

CoachJenK :

there must be some glitches happening because I have responded back can you scroll up and see them if not I will begin again

Customer:

I have scrolled up and down. I just see "The responses are going through each time not sure why scroll up a bit. . . ."

CoachJenK :

Ok let me begin again. sorry for the difficulties. not sure why they are happening

CoachJenK :

have you suggested counseling and will he go? I think I know the answer but wanted to ask. Your feelings and concerns are very valid.

Customer:

Yes, counseling has been suggested. He will go if I remind him numerous times that we have an appointment. Actually, I feel like his mother sometimes. Feel that it's OK if he "forgets" his appointment with the counselor, I'll go myself. I guess you could say he drives me to shrink.

CoachJenK :

LOL. you are funny. It sounds a bit confusing...he can run a business and cannot remember an appointment with you? Very disrespectful I would give him one reminder and then go on your own and work on your won space and how you want this to play out.

Customer:

One more question, I'm thinking about going to a charming little town for an overnight by myself and just not telling him. Give him a dose of his own medicine. Would rather stay home this weekend, but if it helps him to understand, it would be worth it.

CoachJenK :

That has to be something you are comfortable doing. He sounds so self involved that I don't know that he would get the message but rather feel more entitled to do as he pleases and disregard you. I do think an overnight for a recharge is a good idea but maybe let him know and let him miss you a bit. Thoughts?

Customer:

Actually, your suggestion fits us and I think I'll try it. Self-involved, I'm glad you came up with that term. In my mind I call it something else. Yours is much better. Thank you very much. Helpful, Coach Jen.

CoachJenK :

again you are funny. Come back any time and ask for coachjenk if you feel our time together has been helpful please click accept and provide feedback too

Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1773
Experience: Providing the Utmost Care and Support
Coach Jen K. and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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