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Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1785
Experience:  Providing the Utmost Care and Support
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“Oh, and Im looking for a partner, someone special - not a

Customer Question

“Oh, and I'm looking for a partner, someone special - not a "friend with benefits" - why can't we have a "relationship with benefits" anyway? I saw this on a womans internet dating profile, could you explain what it means? Please?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hello, thank for joining me. Please forgive any typos as I get very immersed in my work with you and sometimes my brain goes faster than my fingers.

CoachJenK :

Friends with benefits usually means that there is no commitment of a relationship but there can be intimacy between the two of you while dating and being friends.

Customer:

So how does this relate to a relation ship with benefits?

CoachJenK :

I guess it is implied that if you are in a relationship then the benefits of intimacy go along with that. But this woman in her profile is stating most likely she is not looking for a relationship but rather something more casual

CoachJenK :

Forgive me...she is looking for a partner...not a friend with benefits, so you may be just the guy she is looking for if you are looking for a relationship. She must have written that based on other experiences with men looking only for some casual intimacy.

Customer:

You will have to go slower? I'm a bloke! I still a bit confusied? the question she is asking is "why can't we have a "relationship with benefits" I still don't understand where she is comming from? Why can't you have a relationship, with commitment and intimacy in a relation ship, this may sound stupid but I thought that was the whole point of a relationship, this may sound completley stupid to a woman? but I'm am a guy!

CoachJenK :

Not stupid at all and I apologize for my confusion at the beginning. She is on the same page as you she must meet a lot of people who are not looking for a relationship like you are so she wrote what she wasn't looking for to keep those people from responding. You want a relationship and so does she and that includes all of the intimacy that goes along with it. Does that make sense?

Customer:

Sorry! I'm didn't reallise you had answered I'ver just scrolled down the list?

CoachJenK :

no worries.

CoachJenK :

does it make better sense?

Customer:

Thank, I think I get it know?

CoachJenK :

so i say go for it...you both are looking for the same thing!

Customer:

Can I be very cheacky, and ask how you would reply to her question?

CoachJenK :

Sure. I would say something like....thank god I found a woman who is looking for something deeper. Friends with benefits can be just so boring. :-) I am looking for the complete package...lt's grab some dinner and see how we connect. Looking forward. The Cheeky one! :-)

Customer:

Hay you a really good at this I will keep you details I may need your advice again?

Customer:

Do I need to press the green accept button?

CoachJenK :

Thank you for the compliment. Please come back any time and ask for CoachJenK. If you found our time together was helpful please click accept and provide feedback to. Good luck with it all.

CoachJenK :

yes if you feel I have been helpful.

CoachJenK :

come back any time. It has been a pleasure.

Customer:

Thanks againg for your help!

Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1785
Experience: Providing the Utmost Care and Support
Coach Jen K. and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi CoachJenK,

 

Really, impressed with your reply to my question regarding response to a woman's online profile.

Sure. I would say something like....thank god I found a woman who is looking for something deeper. Friends with benefits can be just so boring. :-) I am looking for the complete package...let's grab some dinner and see how we connect. Looking forward. The Cheeky one! :-)

 

I would be very great full, if you would consider re- writing my online profile.

I really liked the narrative of you reply it sounded great. My profile is total opposite really dull my friends wife wrote it for me, She said my profile wasn't very good, which I agree with but I think hers was even worse than mine! I've only had one positive response from it in about 9 months.

 

This is my current profile

"Curious about the world, and looking for partner who shares my zest for trivia

I like to tinker with things. In the last week, I've fixed a friend's computer, sold a few chili plants, made way for courgettes in the summer, tried to figure out linear regression, ran 5 miles, and lunched on the stray while my friend's little boy learned to ride his bike. I'm looking for someone who appreciates the little stuff of life and wants to explore the possibilties with me, laughing most of the way! I'm happiest in a relaxed casual environment, love Italian food and wine, and exploring Yorkshire."

 

It seems to be very dull and uninteresting, over specific, and very seasonal I would of thought something more general appeal you seem to have a very intuitive way of writing, I like all the standard stuff?

 

I know it's a tough challenge CoachjenK but If you think you can help? Just let me know what fee you would be happy with, not sure how you are remunerated through the site? But would be happy to arrange something that was acceptable to you !

Kind regards,

Simon

XXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX

 

Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.
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