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Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience:  24 years in a private practice
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Why do people love leaving breakups unresolved? I want to

Resolved Question:

Why do people love leaving breakups unresolved? I want to date again but I don't feel confident. I'm paranoid about being dumped for no reason again. My ex dumped me our of the blue after a year by text. Said that I have no self esteem, no confidence. Then he said he should've dumped me a long time ago. I still want revenge more than a year later. I wish I could scream in this pricks face for being such a coward. how can people be so cruel? And never even give you closure? I want to date again but I don't want to be screwed over again by yet another asshole.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

There are a lot of rude and thoughtless people in this world. I guess if you had realized what kind of a person he was, you would have dumped HIM a long time ago. A person like this is not worth getting upset over.

If you can resolve your anger, you would find closure much more easily. Imagine how awful it would be if you still were with this guy. You have an opportunity to make a better choice the next time. Forget about this loser. There really are some nice men out there. They may not run in the circles you have been in lately, but they are there. Maybe you have been looking for love in the wrong places.

Until you get over your anger, you will find it difficult to move ahead with your life. This chapter has been finished for awhile. It ended abruptly, but the book still goes on.

Start writing the new chapter now. A decent relationship will bring closure. You have to start somewhere. It may as well be from this moment and continue on into the future. Your life is much too valuable to waste it brooding over a worthless fool.

Let me recommend a great book for you about building self esteem, by a very smart woman:

The Courage to Be Yourself: A Woman's Guide to Emotional Strength and Self-Esteem by Sue Patton Thoele

I know that you can move on and find someone who truly values you and treats you as a precious person.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I saw a therapist about this, but don't feel she gave me any tools to get over this. I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall. I can't stand how everyone took this jerks side and think he's a fantastic guy. I don't see the point in doing the right thing, when dumpers rarely ever do. Why is it ok for dumpers? I would love to run into this guy and let him see me with someone else.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear friend,

Unfortuantely very manipulative and controlling people who have no empathy or feeling for the pain and suffering of others, are quite excellent in their ability to fool others into thinking they are wonderful human beings. These people are called sociopaths

If you are angry at him and he knows it, then you will be giving him pleasure. The best way to get an attention seeking person such as him, probably a narcissist, is to ignore him. You can hurt him the most by never contacting him again.

Don't let him set the standards. Set your own and move forward with your life. Every second spent thinking about this jerk is a waste of your valuable and precious time. He's not even worth the time it takes to spit on him. Don't let his take any more of your energy or thoughts or time. He is not worth a thing.

The book that I recommended to you earlier is definitely a good tool to use to get over this. I highly recommend that you get it and use it.

Another tool that will help is the following book:

Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You
by Susan J. Elliott

You have been treated badly by an uncaring person. He has fooled some people but not everyone, and certainly not you. He is history. Let him fade away into the past.

I have given you two powerful and valuable tools with which you can heal yourself. Get them and use them for you personal growth. I'm sure that you can get past this.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I just wanted the real deal, but it is almost impossible to do. I am sick to death of being screwed over by guysand end up hurting. Yet they're in another relationship 5 minutes later.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I just wanted the real deal, but it is almost impossible to do. I am sick to death of being screwed over by guysand end up hurting. Yet they're in another relationship 5 minutes later. It seems all guys just jump from girl to girl Bo matter how good a girlfriend you are.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear friend,

It is true. There are a lot a guys like that around. Some of us are good guys, however, and would never do a woman that way. You have been very hurt by the way you have been treated and you deserve much better.

You seem like a nice person and the right man will see that in you. I hope that you will soon be able to project your inner light once again. Don't let some foolish man keep you down. Forget about him and try to move forward. You deserve to.

My very best wishes,

Elliott
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I didn't find getting past your breakup that helpful. I wish someone would screw this guy over. How do I be ready to date others?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.

I see that you are currently off-line. I have responded to your request as best as I can. If you have more to add about the situation feel free to do so. If you have already received a satisfactory answer to your question, click the accept button. Experts are paid only for each accepted answer they provide.

Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience: 24 years in a private practice
Doctor Kevin and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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