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Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1722
Experience:  Providing the Utmost Care and Support
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I really miss my ex boyfriend. I changed my numbers so he has

Resolved Question:

I really miss my ex boyfriend. I changed my numbers so he has no way in get in contact with. He somehow got my cell number and called. I would really like to talk to him face to face. I am told he wants to come back. I feel like he should find ways of contacting me.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hello, thank for joining me. Please forgive any typos as I get very immersed in my work with you and sometimes my brain goes faster than my fingers.

CoachJenK :

It seems like he has found the way to contact you..he got your cell number and has called. Have you indicated to him that you would like to see him face to face?

Customer:

Yes I have. It was a very ugly breaky up of which I know he knows he mad a mistake. I think he is afraif to see me.

CoachJenK :

What has he said when you have asked to see him? and how would things be different this time if you got back together?

Customer:

He said yes and then he gor paged and sais he would call back. Now its been a couple days and I have not heard from him.

CoachJenK :

I can hear his confusion but the last thing I want for you is to be a part of a push pull thing with him.

CoachJenK :

I would sit back and let him reach out to you and if he keeps making excuses not to get together I think you have the information you need.

CoachJenK :

Relationships are all about getting both people's needs met and mutuality and respect. This must exist for a happy and healthy relationship.

Customer:

I agree. I almost want to change the cell number again. Then he contacts me by email. Just cant seem to shake the feeling that we need to talk one last time. I have lost all trust in him but I still love him with all my heart.

CoachJenK :

I understand all of what you are saying. The love is there but the trust isn't and he isn't doing anything right now for you to feel trust again especially if he says he will call and then doesn't.

CoachJenK :

You must take care of yourself now.

Customer:

Would it be wrong to call him? I never have since the break up. He says I can call anytime.

CoachJenK :

Nothing is wrong or right, but lets check in to see why you want to call? what is the goal?

Customer:

I think it will help me bring closure to it. He seems to always want to keep an open line open. He is always telling me he heard I was out and have beenn seen with people. I dont go anywhere. That is either gossip or he made it up

CoachJenK :

Hearing that I am not even sure that he will hear what you are saying if you see him face to face but you need to do what you need to in order to move on

Customer:

I think it would help me to bring closure to it. He is always saying he heard I was out with other guys. I do not go anywhere, that is eiyher him lieind or gossip.

CoachJenK :

I hear you I really do. Can you move on without this kind of closure?

Customer:

I think that would help me bring closure to it. He is always telling me I was seen out with other guys. I do not go anywhere. That is either him lieing or gossip.

CoachJenK :

I keep getting the same response. are you getting mine?

CoachJenK :

Are you there?

Customer:

yes

CoachJenK :

Ok. you responses are coming through several times...the same one

CoachJenK :

How else can I support you?

Customer:

Should only be on. Just an answer to last response.

CoachJenK :

weird.

Customer:

?

CoachJenK :

that the same one kept coming through. Ok, so how else can I provide some support to you.

Customer:

I just wonder why he says I do these things that arent true

CoachJenK :

Maybe it is a way to keep you engaged in this dynamic and sometimes the best way to move on is to just completely step away from the situation and if he emails or calls to choose not to respond. The more you engage the longer this will go on.

Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1722
Experience: Providing the Utmost Care and Support
Coach Jen K. and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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