The first step to forgiving cheating is wanting to continue to be a couple. You have to know what you want from this partnership. If you want to remain together then you should consider a couples counselor. The desire to cheat is always based on a reason. It doesn't just happen as a partner may want you to believe. You have to know and resolve the reason why it happened. If you don't then you can't resolve your trust issues and he can't resolve why it happened. Therapy will give you a chance to really tell him why it has upset you so much. He needs to hear that. You need to hear why it happened. Then use any other modality you can to move past it. It takes work. You may choose to use self help or marriage workshops. You would have to research your area or go to your local bookstores. Establish an effective way to communicate that works for you.
If your husband wants this marriage he will do everything he can to make it right. When you observe him working on this problem it may help show you that he truly is sorry. Work together. When you can be reassured that he is regretful that will help you be more confident.
Please press accept; this is the only way I am compensated
You can't let him blame you for his bad choices. That is a common excuse when a person does something wrong and then looks to others for a reason. It may about sex and about getting attention. It may be about stroking his own ego. I think he is embarrassed and that has led to these excuses. You can't deal with the reason unless he is willing to deal with the reason. Don't guess. Just know that it wasn't about lack of attention. He took the easy way out