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Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  24 years in a private practice
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I am currently dating the sister of a long lost girlfriend.

Customer Question

I am currently dating the sister of a long lost girlfriend. She and I re-connected after about 25 years on facebook. As stated, I dated her sister about 25 years ago. This gets a little bumpy so bare with me on the ride. We started dating while I was still married. I know shame on me. I do regret the way we started off, and I regret hurting my ex-wife the way I hurt her, but I do not regret where Sherry and I are currently. I won't go into long winded details other than to say it takes two to make it or break it and had I been happy and content at home I obviously wouldn't have been looking elsewhere. My ex-wife changed dramatically when she was diagnosed with cancer. Very little if any for the good, mostly bad. I love Sherry more than I have ever loved before. My wife and I never had children, and I regret that also, though it was a mutual decision, I think it was a mistake. Sherry has a 16 year old autistic son that is so very special to me. Through the messy divorce, Sherry's sister (my old girlfriend...25 years ago, her husband, and my ex-wife played games). My ex installed keystroke software on my computer, someone hired a private investigator to follow Sherry, all the games that were played! Sherry has lived with her mother since her divorce. Sherry's husband walked out on her after her daughter of 8 mos. died and she was 4 mos. pregnant with her son. At the same time Sherry's dad was in the early stages of Alzheimers. So it worked out well for everyone, Sherry's mother could help Sherry with her son, and Sherry could help with her dad. However, through all the game playing, everyone has made it not be a condusive environment for her and I to date. Her mother has even said if she continues to see me she will have to move out. She wants to move out, but when she can afford it, and ease an autistic son into change and not rush things. We both are consenting adults, very much adults now (40's), but how do we get past this? Is it doomed to fail before it begins because of the baggage with her sister? As far as I'm concerned that was in the past. Biblically is it doomed because it started as an alduterous affair? What can I do to ease her mind? Any help would be appreciated.

Thank you in advance
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
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Doctor Kevin
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