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Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1812
Experience:  Providing the Utmost Care and Support
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Hello! I have been in a series of long-term relationships.

Customer Question

Hello! I have been in a series of long-term relationships. I broke up with my ex about two months ago. We lived together. I moved in with a friend. I have been trying to figure out how to be by myself and not jump too quickly into a relationship, as I am usually penchant to do. I met a guy two weeks ago who I really, really like. In the past I have been too aggressive. I moved in with each of my last two boyfriends within the first month of dating. So this one I want to take slow and don't know how to stop myself. We went on two dates thus far. How far out should I space my seeing him so it progresses in a healthy way? When I get an email I tend to write back right away. I don't know how to not seem too available.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hello, thank for joining me. Please forgive any typos as I get very immersed in my work with you and sometimes my brain goes faster than my fingers.

CoachJenK :

May I begin by asking your age? I understand the excitement that comes from meeting someone new and having that rush of new feelings and attractions. You have had two dates with this new guy and I would suggest that you keep on dating and letting some space between the dates so that things can develop naturally rather than a rush into things where you are not truly getting to know one another but rather letting the feelings sweep over it all.

CoachJenK :

Enjoy the space of getting to know someone and enjoy the space of the excitement of missing him in between the dates AND allow him to miss you too a bit.

CoachJenK :

I am not suggesting game playing but more of a natural development of things so that things dont burn out quickly.

Customer:

that is what I want as well.. my "natural development" just seems to be on hyperdrive!

CoachJenK :

Lol and i truly understand that because of the excitement you feel. That is natural too but i want you to be able to redirect it a bit so he can also pursue you a bit.

CoachJenK :

If the new guy is right then things will take the proper course....just allow it to happen

Customer:

ok. so I wait for him to ask me out again.. right?

CoachJenK :

absolutely. How did things go on the last date?

Customer:

excellently. my best friend and I are double dating two best friends. so we went out the four of us the first time... then last time we had dinner separately then met up with the two of them for drinks after dinner... and they walked us home (we are roommates).

Customer:

we kindaaa want to marry them both

Customer:

two best friends and two best friends.

CoachJenK :

hysterical, but again let it be natural and do some things just the two of you as well.

Customer:

agree.

Customer:

how is your experience with justanswer?

Customer:

my friend and I are starting a video counseling platform.

CoachJenK :

In what respect? I love being on here to help provide support.

CoachJenK :

Keep up your great spirit and your determination in this relationship or anything you do.

Customer:

thank you.

Customer:

do you have another job?

CoachJenK :

I am also a life coach and entrepreneur as well.

Customer:

what kind of business did you start?

CoachJenK :

You are kind to express an interest but this time is for you and not about me. I do appreciate your interest though. If you found our time together helpful please click accept and provide feedback.

Customer:

ok. trying to offer you another job.. haha.. we are building a video counseling biz and while the relationship question was very real.. we are testing out all of the current platforms in existence. my email isXXX@XXXXXX.XXX if you want to follow up on the business side of things. Thanks, Melissa

Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1812
Experience: Providing the Utmost Care and Support
Coach Jen K. and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K.
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