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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My girlfriend broke up with me about on 12-21-11. She hasnt

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My girlfriend broke up with me about on 12-21-11. She hasn't made this public as far as I know. We work at the same place and no one has mentioned our break up. I thought maybe she was trying to give me time to adjust. I told her I was ok with her moving on and telling people but still nothing. I hold a little hope for reuninon but don't want to be disappointed again. Why has she not told anyone?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.

I don't understand why going public is to important to you. She may just be a private person and she feels that you breaking up is none of their business. She may just feel embarrassed or uncomfortable and she chooses to keep it to herself. I would let her deal with this in her own way. You have not told either. The same way you have your feelings about the situation she has hers. Work is not the best place to be giving out personal information. Some people just want their business to be more private. Tell serves no purpose but to get people talking. She may not want her relationship to be the talk of the office. If you want to reunite then you should just let her do this in her own time. The better you handle this breakup the better you will look in her eyes. If you start the conversation at the office she may see that as a violation to her trust. Let her handle it.

 

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Customer: replied 4 years ago.
It's important because I'm not acknowledging that we're broke up and am basically lying by ommission when co workers make comments assuming we're still together. She's doing the same. At some point one of us will have to tell. I want to let her handle it but how long am I suppossed to wait. I wait because of hope. Do I wait till I see her out on a date with someone. Maybe I should assume there is no hope and find my own date. I would feel as if I had disrespected her if she or a co worker saw me on a date and it became known this way. And I would feel the same if I saw her or someone told me she was out on a date.
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.
If you are concerned that someone may find out then you may mention to her that you both have to come up with a reasonable strategy to tell others so that it doesn't result in an embarrassing situation. If your primary concern is other people then you should approach this by letting others know it's over. If you are really just hoping that you get back together then this has nothing to do with telling others. Not telling them doesn't make it any more likely that you will get back together. If all else fails and she won't tell then let them know without going into detail that it didn't work out.
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