Hello, thank for joining me. Please forgive any typos as I get very immersed in my work with you and sometimes my brain goes faster than my fingers.
It sounds like you and your boyfriend have a wonderful ability to be honest with one another and that is good. Why she brings it up now is hard to really know but my hunch is if she has this neediness and her husband is away in the military she is feeling lonely and is looking for that connection. To mention her feelings now is certainly inappropriate but I am glad he came to you with it. I don't think you need to give him that ultimatum because it seems he has responded to the event in a positive way and did not keep it from you. I would suggest letting him know how you care for him and checking in with him to see where he is in his feelings toward you and if he desires to be with this other woman. I would not do this in a pressuring way or by giving him the ultimatum because as you say the trust is there. Keep that trust but also check in with him in that non-threatening and loving way. Please let me know if I can provide more support.