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lifecoach28
lifecoach28, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  15 years teaching people to have satisfying relationships.
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My husband suffers from Major depressive disorder (MDD) and

Customer Question

My husband suffers from Major depressive disorder (MDD) and had an episode in late November. An episode in our house involves a 911 call and a trip to the emergency room...
Our relationship with his parents is not great. They blame me for his condition. I blame them for being insensitive. They are also VERY, VERY close to my husband's younger Brother. He and his wife are practically perfect in EVERY way. Their parents make this well known - it is not my imagination. I spent an hour listening to my mother-in-law gloat about how silky and soft her daughter-in-law-to-be's hair was.... they weren't even engaged yet.... She still introduces me as her son's "friend" - we've been married 5 years, and dated for 8 years prior.
Since my husband's episode, some things have happened:
1. His parents have been concerned and on edge about everything that he does. Understandably.
He is on medication and in therapy and is stabilizing nicely. I am very proud of his progress! I don't think they believe me when I tell them.
2. His brother and sister-in-law have announced their 1st pregnancy after months of trying.
3. We have found out that we are also expecting after one weekend of talking about how nice a second child would be. Basically, we got pregnant the DAY they told us their good news.

I have no idea how to announce that I am pregnant. Only my husband and my doctors know that we are expecting. It is such a WEIRD situation between myself and my in-laws (all of them). We are SO excited to have another baby! My husband doesn't even want to tell his parents! He says, "They'll figure it out." I am so distressed about telling people for fear that they will judge me because they think my husband is unstable and violent... He is neither, just depressed.
I also don't want to make the announcement because it is so close to my sister-in-laws pregnancy. Let her have ALL of the spot light - heaven know I don't want it!!! I HATE the attention. I just don't want anyone to be offended.

How long should I wait?
Do I have to call them? Or can I send a gift that says something funny but gets the point across?
Also, when the time comes, how do I decline my sister-in-laws baby show invitation? I LOATHE baby showers and as a personal rule don't go to ANY of them.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 2 years ago.
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Expert:  lifecoach28 replied 2 years ago.
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