How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6887
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
52358615
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi I was in a relationship for 4 months. Everything was

Resolved Question:

Hi

I was in a relationship for 4 months. Everything was going great. We shared the same interests, we did a lot of things together and we got on really well. She talked to me about doing things in the future and said things which implied she never wanted me to leave her. We went on holiday together for a week and we were at the pinnacle of happiness.

The day after she got back her Mum told her that she had cancer. We talked about it a bit but she never properly opened up to me. A couple of weeks later she developed an extreme hate towards me. To my knowledge I did nothing wrong. No matter what I said though she would twist my words and throw it all back in my face. Yet a day or so later she would be nice to me again but soon return to being horrible.

I made it clear that I would be there for her but that didn't seem to go down very well. She didn't want me to go round to her house and every time I text her I was upsetting her. Things just got worse and worse. I took the majority of it on the chin and it took a lot of strength not to bite back.

I didn't want to come across as too obsessive and upset her even more so at the final straw I wrote her a long e-mail explaining how I felt and sent her some flowers. She responded to my e-mail saying that it had given her a lot to consider and that she would reply but not straight away as she needed time to think.

A week later she deleted me off her facebook. Two months have passed since then and we have had no contact at all. She still hasn't responded to my e-mail. I know that her Mum's operation is this month which is huge. I don't want to contact her because I think it might upset her again but at the same time I'm thinking, is she going to hold it against me in the future for not being there at probably the hardest situation she has ever been in? Should I be thinking if she's like this now, she's not worth being with in the future anyway?

Is there are right or wrong way to handle this situation?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.

If she has not responded and deleted you then her mother's situation is no longer your concern. You are not a couple. You are not guilty of anything because you have no alliance to her. Your responsibility is to yourself. If she wanted your support she would ask for it directly. So as far as blame she has herself to blame. She has ended it so if she has no support that is her choice. You need to move on and not concern yourself with her situation. When someone ends a relationship they don't expect that their ex will concern himself with their problems. As cold as it sounds you have to focus on what is going on in your life and let her do the same.

 

Please press accept

psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6887
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
3587 Satisfied Customers
I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues