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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hi I was in a relationship for 4 months. Everything was

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I was in a relationship for 4 months. Everything was going great. We shared the same interests, we did a lot of things together and we got on really well. She talked to me about doing things in the future and said things which implied she never wanted me to leave her. We went on holiday together for a week and we were at the pinnacle of happiness.

The day after she got back her Mum told her that she had cancer. We talked about it a bit but she never properly opened up to me. A couple of weeks later she developed an extreme hate towards me. To my knowledge I did nothing wrong. No matter what I said though she would twist my words and throw it all back in my face. Yet a day or so later she would be nice to me again but soon return to being horrible.

I made it clear that I would be there for her but that didn't seem to go down very well. She didn't want me to go round to her house and every time I text her I was upsetting her. Things just got worse and worse. I took the majority of it on the chin and it took a lot of strength not to bite back.

I didn't want to come across as too obsessive and upset her even more so at the final straw I wrote her a long e-mail explaining how I felt and sent her some flowers. She responded to my e-mail saying that it had given her a lot to consider and that she would reply but not straight away as she needed time to think.

A week later she deleted me off her facebook. Two months have passed since then and we have had no contact at all. She still hasn't responded to my e-mail. I know that her Mum's operation is this month which is huge. I don't want to contact her because I think it might upset her again but at the same time I'm thinking, is she going to hold it against me in the future for not being there at probably the hardest situation she has ever been in? Should I be thinking if she's like this now, she's not worth being with in the future anyway?

Is there are right or wrong way to handle this situation?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.

If she has not responded and deleted you then her mother's situation is no longer your concern. You are not a couple. You are not guilty of anything because you have no alliance to her. Your responsibility is to yourself. If she wanted your support she would ask for it directly. So as far as blame she has herself to blame. She has ended it so if she has no support that is her choice. You need to move on and not concern yourself with her situation. When someone ends a relationship they don't expect that their ex will concern himself with their problems. As cold as it sounds you have to focus on what is going on in your life and let her do the same.


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