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Ask Dr. Shirley Schaye Your Own Question

Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience:  PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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Hi i love my bestfriend but due to race we both know theres

Resolved Question:

Hi i love my bestfriend but due to race we both know theres no point. We get on amazingly well. We just hit it off from the go. We were doing great but i told her look this year we must focus on studies so i will talk to you less and we wont sit together. She looked upset but understood.
Since then shes been getting moody with me. Telling me to go or she will get mad. I thought maybe uni stress.
She hid the fact she was married to me for 3 years i dont know why. She just said she has her reasons. Her ex husband is trying to win her back. She first kept it from me but then told me and asked my advice. I gave it to her saying if you trust him go back. But shes saying although she loves him it doesnt feel right.
I told her also if he loved you he would have gone to your parents instead of making you go behind thier back. I know how much you love family he should have asked them. I also said you have exams. He knows this but then why give you stress. Is that real love? He says he can make you happy but he should know your dreams of your future. How you want to write. I said this is love secretly its what i would do if i could and i think she knows i meant it like this. But again her family would not approve so i wont harm that.
She told me a few days ago she said no to him again but now shes rude to me and sometimes ignores me too. Im lost as to why? Does she feel im trying to keep them apart? She knows i just want her to be happy.
Or as some say shes realised im the right guy for her and she does like me more then she realises?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Shirley Schaye replied 2 years ago.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I am so very sorry to hear what is going on. You in a way answered your own question about why she is doing what she is. Let me quote you and then comment on that."i love my bestfriend but due to race we both know theres no point. We get on amazingly well. We just hit it off from the go. We were doing great but i told her look this year we must focus on studies so i will talk to you less and we wont sit together. She looked upset but understood." So it seems that she is protecting herself. It sounds like she really confides in you, feels very close to you and cares about you a great deal but you putting that distance between you --- telling her that you should talk less and not sit together is waking her up to reality that the relationship between you is not going anywhere.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I don't know whether there are other questions that you want to ask. I see you are offline now. I'll pause here and await your response to see if there is anything you would like to add to this chat.If you have other questions, don't hesitate to ask. Just put Dr. Shirley Schaye before your question and I will be the one to respond to you.

Customer: Well
Customer: I put distance because i want her to suceed On Her studies
Customer: And not think about us
Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Well I think that is very thoughtful and considerate and caring on your part. Tell her what you just told me.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I see that you may be offline now. I'll pause here and await your response to see if there is anything you would like to add so that we may continue with our chat. If you have other questions, don't hesitate to ask. If I have answered your questions, please click on ACCEPT and leave feedback. Bonuses are always appreciated. You can always ask more questions after you have clicked on Accept. Just put Dr. Shirley Schaye before your response and I will be the one to respond.

Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience: PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye
172 Satisfied Customers
PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy