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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have been seeing someone for 2 months and it was brilliant,

Customer Question

I have been seeing someone for 2 months and it was brilliant, I know he really likes me. We have spent every weekend together, and he's the first person I have seen for 3 years. We have even had a sexual relationship as I felt ready to do this. We have the same interests and outlook on life and enjoy each others company. We are both 30 and have our own flats and important jobs. Then hes been told he has to move 200 miles away and has said his head is not in the right place to see me anymore. I am devastated, I know he really likes me and he was so nervous the last time we met.

He never contacted me oover christmas and said its better we split now than down the line when its more painful, I was prepared to wait for him, or even see how we feel in a few months time

do I give him some space and then see how he feels? I have told him how much I care and we have decided to have a break for a few months I really feel its worth working at though

Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.

You have made your decision if you think it is worth working through. I would wait and see how he feels since his conflict may be temporary. You have nothing to lose. He may think very highly of you by sticking this out. Sometimes when people are going through something emotional they tend to push people away. When they get a clearer head later they will reach out for that person knowing they were supportive if only to have faith in them. It is up to you whether you choose to be in contact. If you really are able to wait, I would stay in contact for a few months to see if this passes. You may find that he returns your contact or that he knows what he want later when the crisis has passed. If months go by with no improvement then move on. The time frame is up to you.

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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

 

HI

 

He's been very cool with me and I picked up my stuff from his on Saturday, I asked him if he actually cared about me, or was I just a quick shag. he said I wasn't but circumstances change, thats why he finished it. He has totally finished with me now

Yet i know he's still on the dating website we met on, looking for other girls

I feel so stupid, did he actually care, do you think his head is totally messed up

 

I know I'm better off without him, but I can't help thinking he's just messed up at the moment, I really did think he was the one

Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.
He cared in his own way. He obviously doesn't want a commitment so you should move on. He will be with the next person and they will get hurt too. Don't feel stupid. He probably is very good at what he does. Focus on your now. You may find that you can move on to a relationship with someone who is certain he cares about you. Looking back you may be grateful. He isn't the one. He was someone you met and someone who didn't appreciate your heart. Whether he is messed up is on him. His decision brought this about. Don't feel sorry for something he created. This is his mess

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