How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
52358615
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

2 months ago I reconnected with a friend of 26 years. We are

Customer Question

2 months ago I reconnected with a friend of 26 years. We are clearly made for each other. He travelled to see me at Xmas. spent a great night together. Before this 6 hours a day on Yahoo, 20 or more texts a day, numerous phone calls everyday and one in the a.m. at 8 every single day. We have so many common interests and have fallen in love. When he left here on Dec 24th to pick up his 26 year old son from airport our plan was to spend Xmas weekend together at various houses then go to his home in atlanta and spend weeks together to see how I liked living there etc. When his son arrived he was distraught (I was told by text). His Uncle had committed suicide the day before and the son was quite upset. He went to Philadelphia (where the unclke was from) to see the family and go to the funeral. As I was not sure what was happening (at this time I had not spoke to Lee on the phone since 24th only text messages that were fairly short). Although he was telling me how much he missed me and thought of me etc. I understood his situation and realized our plans were no longer, however I sent a text to ask about New Years and he replied with "being with you on new years would be great but i can't see it happening , i am sorry but i have too many other things to deal with. I will call when dust settles. Thank you for your love and support but I do not feel I have the cycles (?) right now for a relationship. It is not fair to you or I. I hope you understand. Timing is everything. Perhaps we could try as a couple in a couple of weeks. I replied with an understanding text, told him I was here for him. I have not had a phone call from Lee since Dec 24th. He texts maybe 2x a day with small and boring texts. Everything has completely changed. What does all this mean? Do I completely ignore him? Do I show him I care by texting back small exchanges. Does he need to be completely on his own? I also asked if this was his polite way of dumping me and he said no that he just needed time. Is he not interested and hasn't thte heart to say it. I do not know how to handle this situation. Since it is 2012 I had enough stuff to deal with in 2011 and this was exciting and real. What should i do. Forgot to mention I am 52 and he is 60. Thank you Wendy
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
i am 52 he is 60. I am very confused with this. what happened in a week to change ehat e had to this? i will ignore his texts but I would like more indepth of how someone can be planning a future one minute and the next life is done. I feel a fool contacting him now but it hurts alot inside.I feel a fool for planning a lifetime with this man and now he is gone. No phone calls just little texts. i have never experienced this before sorry. By "motivating" to text me I belirve you mean "he feels he has to.......is that right?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
i am 52 he is 60. I am very confused with this. what happened in a week to change ehat e had to this? i will ignore his texts but I would like more indepth of how someone can be planning a future one minute and the next life is done. I feel a fool contacting him now but it hurts alot inside.I feel a fool for planning a lifetime with this man and now he is gone. No phone calls just little texts. i have never experienced this before sorry. By "motivating" to text me I belirve you mean "he feels he has to.......is that right? and finally why would I contact him in 3 weeks......will his desire have changed. i feel like I have been used immensely. What turmoil did this man go thru?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am 52 my boyfriend of 2 months is 6. We have kjnown each other for 25 years. Just both in relqtionships and recently connected. everything was wonderful untill he went to pick his son up from airport in Toronto and his son was shaken by the suicide death of his (sons) uncle. They spent one day in Toronto and drove to Philadelphia, where the uncle was from to stay with other side3 of family and attend funeral. . My boyfriend got back to atlanta yesterday. During the week between Xmas and NY my boyfriend has completely changed. He is distant.....less than meaningful texts. Used to talk on phone 10x day, emails, texting 30x a day, yahoo messenger when he was working. i was to spend Xmas with him and his family then we were leaving for Atlanta where I was going to stay for a few weeks and see how I enjoyed the area. We were then going to look for a house. I barely hear from him now. I sent a text last night because I have had it. 2012 is the beginning of a New Year. 2011 was full of alot of bad things for me and I refuse to go thru that again. He assures me I am not just 'another notch" but he has been distant and is not sure why and a bit shy. He says we need to talk. I have asked for an email to explain what has happened to the man I loved. He once had everything and lost it , claimed bankruptcy and now lives in a basement apartment....has a goodn job but is pretty much starting over. Could this be affecting him? Do I ignore him? Do I text now and then to show I care? I need an answer and don't know how to handle this situation. We are not children. this is like a high school game and I am getting more and more bothered by it. Please help me.
Expert:  Angela--Mod replied 2 years ago.
Hi, I’m a moderator for this topic and I wonder whether you’re still waiting for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will do my best to find an Expert to assist you right away. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am waiting for an answer still. Thx wendy


Expert:  Angela--Mod replied 2 years ago.
Sometimes, finding the right Expert can take a little longer than expected and we thank you greatly for your understanding. We’ll be in touch again shortly.

Expert:  Angela--Mod replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your patience, your business is very important to us, we are waiting on the Expert with the right expertise to come online. Feel free to let us know if you would like us to continue searching for an Expert or if you would like us to close your question. Thank you for your understanding!

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions