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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1851
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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HelloI proposed to my girll friend last Christmas 2011 -

Customer Question

Hello I proposed to my girll friend last Christmas 2011 - She 40 and me 42 (last minute thought before Xmas and thought well its what she wants and she great girl). However, since then I have had a nagging feeling in my stomach its not right for me.


 


Now 2012 and wedding been booked for April. Have gone along with Wedding prep but never whole heartly. Sept this 2011 I admitted my feeling of being unsure - this wobbled our lives to date.


 


Maybe I have been negative / pressured - unsure. Families involved in wedding prep - though my own now saying I should hold as I not give out right reasons.


 


Just been away skiing for Xmas as our jobs pressured and full on, hoped this give us time. On paper she caring, loving, similar interests - its good relatinship - good house, we have dog.


 


Negative - none but I just don't go wow - surely I should be pleased, excited and over the moon - I have not (feel sad for both of us!). Now having stuck head in sand since Sept face time scale (today ?) - she said if good and can do marriage whole heartly - go - if not stop and break.


 


I have feeling I may never get chance to find such good girl again but also have killed build up to wedding and never feel when look at her she thats going to be my wife.


 


How break my thoughts down - acknowledge relationships need work and I holding back.


 


On plus side we get on similar interests - sex life is ok - but usually started by her, she loving caring, fun, bright ..... I must be mad. 


 


Finally, I feel I should go to alter but feel nervous - she is so good for me and we great friends, orgainsed, fun at times and great girl.  Why am i uncomfortable?

Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
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