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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am a 40 year old Mom of two children ages 10 and 12. I was

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I am a 40 year old Mom of two children ages 10 and 12. I was married for 13 years. Two years ago I went through a very painful divorce. About 9 months after my divorce I started dating my good friends brother. He is 5 years younger then me. He was going through a divorce at the time, and has 3 small children. We spent our free time together, with out our children involved. We have had a fun time making dinner together, trying different wines and going out. We began to get closer and closer. I have fallen in love with him, and he with me. My ex-husband and I were very wealthy, so needless to say after the divorce, I am more than comfortable. I own a beautiful home, and have nice things. I completed my second B.S. degree this past year and am pursing a career as a Paralegal. When S and I got together, he had been recently laid off and was not working. This was the only thing at the time that bothered me about him. I have always been attracted to ambitous people. He was in no rush to find a job. He was a big time college foot ball star and played for a very short time in the NFL. He still has the mentality that he is "famous". He finally got a job with a sports nutrition company, and I was thrilled. I could tell right off the bat that work was not going to be his priority. That being said, he was very kind and supportive of me. Extremely complimentary. I felt at times adored by him, and it felt so good. We had mind blowing sex! After about 6 months, they changed his position at work. No more salary, just commission. He has done nothing! He has no money and no income coming in! He says he is looking for a new job, but it dosen't seem that way. We always take my car when we go out. He say his is too messy. We only hang out at my house, which is much nicer then his rental. I would love to hang out at his place, but he never asks. In the past when he has had extra money, he will take me out to dinner or but food to make here. Most of the time he depends on me to provide the food and wine with out saying a word about it. I am starting to feel taken advantage of. A friend of mine recently told me that the common opinion is "he's psyched-he made out like a bandit w/ you" the perception being he barley works, and I have money. Am I being a total fool??! Has all his attention and adoration blinded me?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.

You could be acting foolishly but I wouldn't say you are a fool. I don't think it is as clean cut as he has it made with you. Right now the resources are clearly on your side. He may be finding it difficult finding himself after football and doesn't want to admit it. It is common for a woman when there is no give and take to feel resentful. That is what resentment is. Your only choice is to bring this up and tell him that you feel resentful and need more of an effort on his part. He may be mad at first but this plan isn't working. Nothing will change if you don't bring this up. Do it in a respectful way. If nothing changes then you know you have some choices to make. It is okay to stop the gravy train though. I don't think you are blind. You just wanted to give him a chance. But now time's up. Talk to him now and pull back on the monetary benefits. You will see his plan very quickly.

 

 

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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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