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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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What does it mean when your spouse wont make eye contact with

Resolved Question:

What does it mean when your spouse won't make eye contact with you.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I know that your intuition is telling you that something isn't right. You are hesitant to make a judgement without professional advice.

I assume that until recently he was not fearful of looking at you. It could mean one of two things:

  • the less likely, is that he thinks that you have done something wrong and cannot bear to look at you and is afraid to speak about it; this could be the reason one person can't bear to look at another, but this is not likely; if it were, you wouldn't be posing the question.
  • the more likely is that he does not want you to see the guilt and shame in his eyes; he does not want you to see his lying eyes, for he knows that if you look into his eyes, the mirror of his soul, you will know that he is ashamed of something or cannot tell the truth about something.
He believe that he can fool you with his voice, but not with his eyes. He is hiding
from you.

You can ask him why he cannot look at you, and ask him if he has something to be ashamed of. If you have a forgiving heart, you can tell him that the truth has to come out and that you will forgive him and try to work things out if he has done something wrong.

If he says it is nothing, then you can ask him to look you in the eyes and tell you that. He is not a natural liar, but he is a human being and has perhaps made an error or judgment. If so, it is not too late to work things out. He obviously knows right from wrong and cannot live with this unspoken event or circumstance, and neither can you,

Do your best to work it out now. This is a good time to start the new year right.

Be strong, be forgiving, and think of the long-term consequences of anything you do or say now, keeping your mind and heart on what you want in the future.

I wish you great successs and a good new year ahead.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
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