Hi, seems like you have gone offline. You are correct in your assumption that they are too young to get married and the rate of divorce for this age group is high. Add financial problems and the chances increase. Here is a web site on divorce stats.
I hope this helps you however, if they are determined to marry you may want to sit down with your son and tell him that with marriage comes many responsibilities, that they will have to handle, that means no more paying off his debt etc. Sounds hard but it is reality and they both need a jolt of it right now. It may aslo be a good idea to have them speak to a counselor who works with couples and give them some guidance.
Please accept and feel free to leave any comments
Thank you for the referral, I am going to share that with our son. Curious timing here, I got a text message from him at 4 a m today that they broke up , that he learned she has been cheating on him while he was in Germany for at least the pat 6 months. He may have just gotten out of this by the skin of his teeth but obviously, he needs to be more realistic and mature about his view of getting married.
Part of why we did object was that we didn't hear or feel any real passion from either of them way before this. No excitement about them being together . I believe that those compelling emotions at the beginning of a marriage are the cement for later lasting years. Our son is handsome, kind, genuine, honest, and lonely. We feel that he is vulnerable to poor choices because of this. He is staying at her family home right now with all her family there for holidays and we want him to just go to the airport and leave. I fear that he may think that this is a mendable situation, and I know he is terribly hurt.
I don't want to push him at this moment but yes, I do too. I have been thinking of calling the brother in law, our son's friend who introduced him to this girl in the first place and ask him to drive our son to the airport, now. I haven't picked up the phone for obvious reasons, I 'd like our son to come to this decision on his own, more or less, not hang around out there, California, with all of her family - it has to be a horrible situation. They had to have known but they let him fly there anyway for his leave, Army, over the holidays, and spend a lot of money also before she finally told him the truth. There is a remote possibility that the rest of them did not know, but if I suspected her cheating from what my son said to us while he was just in Germany, and I am here in MIami, Florida, it is impossible that none of them did not also know.
I know I need to be cool, but if I were still flying as well as my airline, I'd already be on an airplane to LAX to get him and bring him back home. He deserves so much better than this. Still, better now than later, better a cheaing g.f. than a cheating wife or a cheating mother of his children.