The long distance relationship has been so stressful that I have been too depressed to seem interested or really try. I have no motivation. Okay, he is visiting for 4 days right now, I'm at work tonight and will pick him up in the morning. I don't know what to say to find out direction?
....of the relationship.
not necesarily, he's just really smart, he's also asian and an orphan. I don't have a career, he always says "you can do what ever you want to do Carey, I want you to."
yes you're right. I feel like because of all my emotional and mental stress of thinking "how is this going to work...his family doesn't like me...etc... that I have a lot of mental blockage that is keeping me from maturing mentally and progressing in general in my life.
I agree! What do I do? I also have trust issues with him because of two incidents. One last year (he was dating me and another girl to decide which one he truly wanted to be serious about, neither of us knew...long story.) One this year because I wouldn't stop fighting with him to make things happen. He's very slow with it all, and well I'm 31.... I just don't know what's stopping him other than his family... yet, he is here, this week. I had nothing planned for us to do... I've really failed him.
He is a huge advocate of family ties, I am not as much because of my family background. Him leaving his family during the holiday season for a woman is big.
I just feel like a failure... and since last year I have difficulty respecting him because of him disrespecting me after I told him my entire past and he continued dating us both and not revealing it. I want to trust him, he is truly trying. We're 17 hours apart driving, we've been together 2 years next May.
I want to be confident but I am scared... why am I so scared? I think I'm truly hung up on past relationships and sins... I've been cheated on by previous boyfriends and it made me so angry that I stopped caring and had relations with the wrong type of men, now I'm so afraid I'll reap what I sowed. I am afraid to mess up at all
I've really stopped trying altogether. I barely work, eat or sleep. I lay around with tension in my chest near my heart and barely get anything done.
That was not me 3 years ago. I've also been told I may be dealing with hormone issues since I hit my 30s. I'm not sure if all this is more due to hormones, past, the relationship or all three or two of them... or... How do I get my power back?
I journaled, prayed, sang, played my instruments, exercised a lot, ate well, slept, enjoyed family, writing.... yet out of all that I still don't have a career or good paying job. That is VERY stressful for me, it's only 3 days a week and I live alone. My other job is also 8 hrs per week. It's causing me stress, I know I'm not measuring up to him or to myself. I don't know where to start.
To be honest I don't feel sexy, I feel dirty. I have a physical problem that is permanent yet it has not been active for going on 6 years now.
Since then I feel less worthy of true love.
My boyfriend and I don't match as much in spiritual maturity which also bothers me a bit and he knows that.
I'm afraid when he goes back it will get even harder and I will give up or worse he will. He has tried to twice.
I am a people person all the way, but I really do NOT like sales or customer service.
I can't take the distance with him anymore, I am speaking the truth no matter how much I love him, it's just not healthy for me. I need to be close.
I always do very well when I'm single, I don't have to worry of what someone thinks of me. I feel I have to get through this while I'm in the relationship for once instead of freaking out on him and he leaves me.-that's what happened in the past 2 relationships.
Not sure how to transition that, it's like I'm missing a link.
Some of this has helped. I hope I won't be charged for every reply...
the 23$ right?
I just don't understand why he isn't doing all he can to get us closer. I don't believe he'll move here. I'm afraid to move there. Dont even know where to start with that if I wanted to.
He is not an initiater of conversations, or very open
I will try
I need to get back to working real soon