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Ask Mark Manley Your Own Question

Mark Manley
Mark Manley, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 402
Experience:  Want help with your most important relationships? Licensed Marriage/Family Counselor.
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My name is XXXXX XXXXX am writing this I need e help About my

Customer Question

My name is XXXXX XXXXX am writing this I need e help
About my relation . Just got broke up because
She think m controlling and always stop her
To do drugs and drinking .
I tryied to make things better by texting her
But I text lot to her she thought now I am
Obsessed please help me with that how I
Handle this situation and she got bf now who
Let her easily accessible to drugs. She like
It and I never c her get spoiled and want her back
Please it's e request help me sir. its not easy to me
because by sending her 4 and seven texts which r way
bigger make her angry on me and so as a response
she deleated me on facebook m blocked ,she treating me
so rudely.I am depressed by that dont know how to turn her
on and listen to me again.tell me suggest me what i can do.
I want her back in my life cant c her spoiling her life in
hope u understand my question. i personally love to talk
bout that .
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 4 years ago.
I am so sorry that the person you want to be in love with is lost in drugs and alcohol. She doesn't love you and she doesn't love the other guy she loves doing drugs and alcohol. Please don't take it personally because she doesn't mean it that way. It's not that she doesn't want you she just wants drugs and alcohol more. You can't make someone stop using and you can't make them want to stop using, they have to come to that desire on their own. You have a broken heart and it will take time to heal but you need to let her go and keep yourself busy with other things and people and eventually find some one else to love.

So sorry.

Mark Manley
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
but i cant let the things go when i c she is doing all this and spoiling her life i love
he dam try to understand everyone as my friends give me the same advice i want some
positive response.
i am not the one who leave any of my friend inbetween but this is my love my gf for who i
spend 2 years of my life togather its not easy to move on for me i am numb from last 2 days my body dont wanna wake up due to thinking more bout her ,that how do i stop
does she every gona realize that what i am asking is right and before deleating me from the facebook she on my wall " that i am sickly i need help because i write her e text in which i write her i gona chase u if anything gone wrong i will comeback and chase u and what she written on my status
"ur gonna chase me r u? Don't threaten me get somthing else to be sickly obsessed by. I'm not ur possesion I was never urs and never wiLl be understand this loud and clear. Go get help cause there's somthing wrong with you ur mentally ill"

according to me chase mean chase troubles and problem from her life she will missreading each and every word of mine
give me some better sugestion so that i will take her away from all odds.
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 4 years ago.
Sorry you need to come to reality. Get involved with hobbies, service, education, socializing and move on.She doesn't love you and you can't make her love you.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
i am facing e reality already she is avoiding me completly but i just want to know
that is something done , like i want her to take away from drugs do u help me out to find e solution do u think i have to talk to her now or wait till some point of time and than talk to her u just tell me suggest me i cant leave her to die on roads if any thing happen to her i will die alive
please suggest me if i can do something for her , please i dont let the things going on like this ,just suggest me what i talk and what i ask her , i just now want her in my life as e just friend so that if she will be in trouble i will help her out for that
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 4 years ago.
She has to want to help her self. You can't make her want to get help. You can't force her to get help.
Mark Manley
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thanks for that sir

but how long i will wait for her to get things better and how do i know she is fine sir.
She is mine tension and worry i know i cant do anything but that will hurt me that i cant do
any thing as v have e 2 years of e nice relation i help her mentelly physicall as well as financially like in every way and now she blame me for everything i feel disappointed sorry
i am buggying u e lot but these thing really disturbing me and my mind from work

i just want to do something but i dont know what can i do .She dont to listen single word from me its e 4th day i didnt talk to her and dont know how is she.

Expert:  Mark Manley replied 4 years ago.

When ever you talk to her she gets more upset. She is not listening to you. She will probably do the opposite of anything you tell her to do. If you tell her to go to treatment she will probably go use more drugs. Best to stay away from her and let her work out her life. In the mean time occupy yourself with other activities, like friends, sports, games, service, etc.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
i just want to know that is their any time or moment u think when i have to meet her and talk to her and try to make the situations better .what u think i have to talk to her after and month or couple of months

Expert:  Mark Manley replied 4 years ago.
I would say two months would be best.

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Thank you.
Mark Manley and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Ok thanks if I need more suggestion contact u again
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 4 years ago.
OK Thank You.

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