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Ask Dr. Shirley Schaye Your Own Question

Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience:  PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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I have a bit of a long story, can anyone help me?

Resolved Question:

I have a bit of a long story, can anyone help me?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Shirley Schaye replied 2 years ago.

Dr. Shirley Schaye : Thank you for contacting Just Answer. What's your story?
Customer:

Hi Dr. Shaye, here's what happened the past couple weeks

Customer:

*Schaye

Customer:

I'm currently enrolled in film school (community college) and in my class there is this girl, a very shy one.

Customer:

at first I paid little attention to her, perhaps a 'hi' or I would sometimes ask for her thoughts on my projects

Customer:

but it happened rarely.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Are you a male? How old are you?

Customer:

me: 23, male, Asian-American

Customer:

her: 21, female, Hispanic

Customer:

anyways, I asked for her help in this current project I am working on (acting/stage hand/etc.) she's a very shy girl, but she agreed to helping me with my film project after reading the script.

Customer:

we're complete opposites, she's quiet, shy, mindful of what she says, etc.

Customer:

I'm more outspoken, speak my mind, outgoing, not afraid to be honest, etc.

Customer:

recently, I don't know why, but I somehow developed a crush on her I guess

Customer:

during the film project, I would talk to her, make her feel comfortable with me and it seemed to work so far cause she opened up to me alot lately

Customer:

last Tuesday, her role was the last one to shoot and I just need to shoot with my camera and her in this part of the film.

Customer:

so it was just going to be me and her

Customer:

she gave me her address and I picked her up (I already have her number since the beginning of the project)

Customer:

while in the middle of filming, I was a bit clumsy (I accidentally walked into a tree) and she couldn't help but share in the laughter at my clumsiness

Customer:

after that, the sun came out of the clouds and ruined our scene for shooting, so we had to wait another couple hours

Customer:

while we waited for the sun to go back behind the clouds, we went to Starbucks down the street (I paid for the tab)

Customer:

while sitting there in front of Starbucks, we got to know each other very well

Customer:

found out her favorite color was Bright Blue, her grandma was suffering from mesothelioma, her parents had past marriages, both of us went to the same high school, her favorite singer was XXXXX XXXXX (I liked him too a bit, something we both had in common), how she hates her mean half-sister, etc.

Customer:

I could write a book on what I know about her.

Customer:

her likes and dislikes

Customer:

after that, I smelled a hint of chocolate and said so about it

Customer:

she told me that there was a chocolate store just one store over

Customer:

I then said "Hey, let's go get some chocolate" and we went to the chocolate store. I asked her if she saw anything she wanted. A $25 box caught her attention, so I asked the lady that at the register for one box.

Customer:

we also picked up a couple other types of chocolate too

Customer:

price came up at $43 (I don't make much money, but $43 is very small in my budget)

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

So what is the specific question that you are asking?

Customer:

sorry, it's just, I asked her out the other day, and she didn't answer me, she just smiled and looked at me in the eyes. we were all alone in this recording room, and when we finished, I actually got up and opened the door for us to leave. As soon as I opened the door, she leans in on it and closes it and looks me in the eyes with a smile.

Customer:

I asked her out, but all she could do was look away, then back at me, eye-to-eye and smile

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

And so .... what are you asking?

Customer:

I guess what my main question is... "what happened? was she going to say yes? did she want to me to kiss her in that room or more or something? And mostly, do I still have a chance with her?"

Customer:

Again, she's really shy. But when she's with me, she's very open.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

It's hard to know, not knowing her. I can't read her mind, nor do I have a crystal ball. What I suggest you do is ask her on a formal date. Because this way, you are working together and it would then be confusing to her whether this is a date or a work situation. So you make the move to it being a date, then it will not be as confusing to her --- especially since she is shy.

Customer:

What should I say to make it formal?

Customer:

we already went out once though

Customer:

before I asked her out

Customer:

but it was mere chance I guess

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

When you are working together, say to her, how would you like to get dinner together or something like that. Then, on the way home, hold her hand. Give her a kiss goodnight. You'll know then by her response.

Customer:

okay, I guess I should do that then. thank you Dr. Schaye.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

You're welcome! BTW, have a glass of wine with dinner --- it will relax the two of you. (ha, ha)

Customer:

she doesn't drink

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I'll pause here and await your response to see if there is anything you would
like to add to this chat.If you have other questions, don't hesitate to ask. If I have answered your questions,
please click on ACCEPT and leave feedback. Bonuses are always appreciated. You can always ask more
questions after you have clicked on Accept. Just put Dr. Shirley Schaye before your response and I
will be the one to respond.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Ok, then don't!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

But ask her to dinner and you make the first move --- hold her hand. Kiss her good night.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

You'll know from that what her position is.

Customer:

She already invited me into her house twice, but parents were there, so we mainly stayed in the living room. Her mother seemed to like me, told me alot, etc. personal family things.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Yes, so now go out without parents there.

Customer:

okay

Customer:

got it, thanks.

Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience: PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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