How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My boyfriend is, I think, clinically depressed at the moment.

Resolved Question:

My boyfriend is, I think, clinically depressed at the moment. He has extremely stressful days and says he hasn't had a good day for as long as he can remember. His school is, like I said, very stressful, and he is in an environment he hates, in a place where he knows hardly any people.

Lately, he has been snapping at me a lot. We talk every night and, more often than not, something will frustrate him and he will snap at me for either no reason or a very small, insignificant reason. After the snap, he will continue to get irritated until he is angry.

Since I know he is having a rough time, should I let him off the hook for snapping at me, or should I stand firm and hold him accountable for getting unreasonably angry and either displaying it to me or taking it out on me?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.

It sounds like he may be experiencing depression. Whether this is situational or chronic he should not take it out on you. People get depressed all the time and they should not take this out on their partner. Depression can include irritability and anger. There are effective ways to deal with this and this does not include using you as his whipping post. You should be understanding but also hold him accountable. If you don't he will not be motivated to seek help. It is not okay to visit your mood on someone else. Maybe he needs assistance while he is in school. He has to find a way to deal with this that is more productive. Start by confronting him in a way that is productive.

 

Please press accept

psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
What if when I tell him he needs to seek help he tells me not to tell him what to do? What if when I say it's not good for the relationship he says that maybe he's not the guy for me? I don't know how else to confront him about this...
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.
Approach him by saying "I am concerned about you and noticed that you are struggling lately. I am not trying to upset you lately and it seems like you are on edge" Stay vague. If you say that you need to get help that sounds like an ultimatum.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Whenever I voice my concern, he tells me not to worry and that he'll handle things. If I say anything related after that, he gets irritated and annoyed. He'd rather suffer than listen to my suggestions on how to get better. I don't know what to do, then. I don't know how else to support him when he refuses to let me.
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.
You are in a position as many partners are. The person doesn't want to be miserable but will deny any help offered. Unfortunately your choices are limited because you can't treat anyone who doesn't want treatment. He may not be resistant forever. In the meantime say little things and plant a seed so that eventually he gets it
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency