How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Please help

Customer Question

Please help -  My partner has been given a different answer to the one i received previously and this is becoming confusing. Are you able to retreive my last question and answer? He was told this:

 I would have to respectfully XXXXX XXXXX your girlfriends therapist on the point that you have obviously succeeded in making a blended family work. That is healthy and as you said done not to maintain the primary relationship with your ex but for the purpose of being part of the influence on your children. That is different.

The fact that your current partner has issues with all of this are not going to resolve. I have seen this scenario many times, and to her credit, she has needs and desires that are not necessarily selfish,however, her needs are not going to be met in this family situation that you describe. You have to be very honest with her in your desire to maintain the path you have followed with the blended family and she will have to make a decision as to whether she can tolerate this.....which because she feels like an outsider, I doubt she will be able to tolerate. In family systems we refer to this as a triangle. You, her & the other (meaning you ex - and blended family. When a triangle exists, someone is going to feel left out and want change. In this case, I see that she is the only one that will make a lasting change and that will be to move on from the relationship. The power of the family it to great for her to absorb.

If you have additional questions of me, feel free to ask.

Best, Bill

Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.
I didn't answer the question and can't retrieve old information. What was your question?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Hi - the question was is it unreasonable to ask my partner to cut down on fixing things for his ex who he has two children to as she has a partner quite capable of this task. To which you replied that is seemed unappropriate as she has her own repairman and that my partner needed to consider my feelings and set boundaries with his ex.
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.

I don't think it is unreasonable at all. If she has someone to help then let them help. Slowly pull away from this which is creating a codependent relationship. My answer stands that she needs to rely on her partner rather an ex who has other responsibilities. She is relying on old feelings of being comfortable but it's time to move on.


Please press accept

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions