Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
Q: "Should I wait? What can I do to "help" him towards commitment but without the pressure? "
A: Your decision would be based on factors such as - how long would you be willing to wait, would you consider an open relationship, are you at some point feel that you've wasted your time and can you keep up with the sort of a relationship you are having now without feeling that you're missing something. You've indicated that your life feels full and you are comfortable with giving him time. Yet, to be fair to you, he should give you an idea of how long is he going to need to work on himself. People can work on different issues even when they are dating and inner growth is not always done in solitude.
His level of commitment current and future is going to be affected by his fears, faith in the possibility of starting over, external circumstances such as his teen children, the mutual goals that the two of you share as well as his individual/professional goals. Whether or not he feels pressured is something you would not necessarily cause him to experience 100% as this would be largely based on his interpretation. You of course can help by letting him know that you are open to see his point, you can listen to him and provide emotional support and companionship. The lack of sexual intimacy may not always be something the two of you can withhold because eventually your goal is to have a romantic rather than platonic relationship.