Thank you for bringing your question to Just Answer!
My reaction to what he wrote is that he enjoyed having sex with you, and wants the option to have sex in the future. No man would write what he wrote (about stroking) to a woman he loved and respected. He even listed lover before friend. He made it loud and clear what he wants from you.
If what you want from him is a purely sexual encounter, it sounds like that will happen. If you're looking for an actual relationship, this isn't the man.
Do you feel in your professional opinion that he wants me to move on? making reference to the "I had hoped, in a strange way you would have found someone else in my absence".
I think he doesn't know one way or the other and is searching for this information.
And what do you make of a response like this? This is from a girlfriend of mine and IMO it's sounds very HARD and HARSH. It all could be true what she writes but WHY come out at someone like that?
"I read it like this....
He does NOT want a relationship with you--not now and not EVER!
that message is VERY VERY CLEAR!
there is no mistakingit--he essentially left you already & what he's saying is he is in a relationship elsewhere and had NOT intended to hear from you again & hoped you found someone else.
Do you sense he's in a relationship elsewhere and even though he may come by for the sexual end that he TRULY wants me to move on?
I have to say, that though I disagree with the harsh tone, I agree with her reading of this. She may have been extra harsh because she doesn't want you wasting time waiting for someone that will probably never show up, and if he does, it will just be for sex.
Yes, it sounds like he's in a relationship, and was just trying to let you down gently. But he was making it clear that he has no intention of being in a relationship with you. He clearly has fond memories of the sex, but that's it. Remember, you reached out to him, He didn't make any effort on his own to contact you, other that to respond to your message.
It's a little sad that you would put so much energy into a man who completely lied to you and had a live-in girlfriend and has gone away for 5 months without contacting you. I think you can do better than him. If you settle for just sex, you won't be available to the man who will fall in love with you and respect you, and who wants to be with you. Don't sell yourself short.
So what do you suggest I do with his clothes that are in my house?
I just can't show up at his house if he's actually in another relationship.
i wouldn't even dream of calling his house.